CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTEST CONTINUES! I am such a loser! I entered The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #31 (minotaur in a bar, where bartender is reaching for a phone or something) with a bunch of captions, some classier than others:

"Why can't I just sit here and bullshit?"

"Snort snort snort snort snort snort snort, snort!"

"I curse the day I was steered into this Taurus trap!"

"If you're impressed by my head, take a look between my legs."

"Sure, I'm bull-headed. But is that a good reason to reach for the phone?"

"Mind if I borrow your apron? I just had an accident. You see, I am not just sitting on your stool. I am also sitting on my own stool."

None won, though perhaps that is a badge of honor when one considers the chosen captions. Congrats to kickassninja, whose caption made the final cut.

Nor did I nab a nomination for the New Yorker's Contest #30 (consultation in doctor's office, with man in trenchcoat hovering in the background). I'd written, "If you're interested in investigative surgery, you've come to the right place." Among the candidates, I'm leaning toward the one from Tom Romig of Royal Oak, Michigan: "Good news! We have a solid lead on who stole your liver." What did you submit?

As for the winner of Contest #28 (villagers watching a guy with a briefcase hail a guy who is wielding mace atop a horse), it's Andrew Wilson of Ayer, Massachusetts, with "Dibs on the briefcase." Congratulations to Andrew, who advances Massachusetts into a second-place tie with Pennsylvania with three wins, while California stays in front with five.

Meanwhile, at emdashes, Emily Gordon offers a follow-up with winner Adam "Clip-on Parrot" Szymkowicz of Shoreham, Vermont.

Here's Contest #32, another office cartoon.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone