ATTENTION VISITORS! As you probably know, New York Post freelancer Jared Paul Stern has been accused of asking $100,000 down plus $10,000 in monthly payments to keep nasty gossip off Page Six. I think we're all pretty stunned by this--it turns out my own rates have been shockingly low!

As of Sunday, April 9 my charges will be as follows:

$99,999.99 down plus $9,999.99 in monthly payments
Rate for keeping nasty gossip off Blog About Town

$99,999.99 down plus $9,999.99 in monthly payments
Rate for spreading nasty gossip on Blog About Town

Please remember to specify which option you prefer and continue sending cash to the usual drop-off point. Senior citizen, student, and TDF discounts still apply!