BATROPOLITAN DIARY. The following exchange took place on a recent Wednesday....

BAT I'll take two tickets for the late show on Friday night, please.

BOX OFFICE GUY That'll be $142.

BAT (shocked) $142?! Oh wait, I have a discount coupon....

BOG I'm sorry. My mind-reading abilities don't work on Wednesday.

BAT That's okay. My sarcasm shield is working just fine!

All dialogue guaranteed paraphrased.