PICTURES OF SPALDING GRAY

I saw Spalding Gray for the first time when he performed at Lincoln Center soon after the outbreak of the the first Persian Gulf War. I still remember showing up worried about the war and dreading the possible directions it could take. I think many of the other audience members were similarly downcast.

And then Gray showed up and shared his latest batch of hilarious confessions. His storytelling superpowers dispelled so much of the doom and gloom, they were like sunbeams cutting through thick fog or gusts of fresh air blowing into a stifling room. For an hour our so we escaped our sadness.

If only the same could have been done for Gray in the last years of his life. I was deeply shaken up by the news of his suicide--upset that something wasn't done to save him, angry that he had abandoned his family that way, and...disillusioned that someone whose work had been incredibly life-affirming had ultimately denied himself his own life. He always talked about his mental misery, but the thrust of his performances suggested to me that his sense of humor always prevailed. I read that he had been unwell, but still...couldn't there have been some other way?

So I had mixed feelings about going to see Spalding Gray: Stories Left to Tell, a kind of Spalding Gray's Greatest Hits production featuring assorted writing fragments from throughout his career, presented in chronological order (or something close to that) in such a way that the mini-monologue snapshots form a bigger portrait. Would it make me feel miserable? Had I gotten over my anger enough to get through it without imploding? The production had gotten good reviews...but wouldn't it be a mere shadow of his own performances?

What finally persuaded me was (of course) a low ticket price. So I went and I'm glad I did. The writings remain interesting and amusing and strong, the actors do them justice, and the overall impact stirred me to sympathy in what I think is a classic sense of the term. So I think I have a better understanding and acceptance of what went into Gray's final, irreversible decision even though I still want to cry out against it. For now I'll just repeat his two pieces of advice: always wear a safety belt in the back seat and, when traveling, carry a Platinum AmEx card to cover any possible MedEvac expenses.

This week the guest performer for Spalding Gray: Stories Left to Tell is Michelle Trachtenberg of Buffy fame. With recent ticket sales appearing to have been weak, I suggest going for the lowest ticket price you can find--I think just about any seat in the house should do.