A SPIRITUAL LIFT?

Has anyone heard anything more about this?

The preachers who have been "spreading the word" to captive audiences on the Staten Ferry now plan to bring their message to an even more restricted space—city elevators.

"The elevators of this city give us an opportunity to target our audiences better—at least while we're moving from one floor to another. They can't move to another section of the elevator to avoid God's word," said a preacher spokesperson.

Asked how the preachers could possibly hope to communicate in such a potentially short stretch of time, the spokesperson replied, "We're currently paring our message down to its bare bones. Our test marketing shows that merely bellowing 'SINNERS' and 'REPENT' in a crowded elevator can be enough to put the fear of God in unbelievers. And, for particularly hard cases, we can always stop the elevator by pressing the emergency button. That should do the trick."