CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

Another week, another winning woman! In Caption Contest 114 (Drew Dernavich lifeguard perched next to high lifeguard tower), the winner is

"He's the lifeguard during high tide."
Jennifer Shelly (New Braunfels, TX)

And so, on a day when many people are filing their late taxes, Texas takes on a third winner, right in between Austin and San Antonio.


In Caption Contest 116 (Gahan Wilson's alien cartoonists considering a cartoon of an alien on a desert isle), the nominees are

"It would work better with an alien."
Don Hill (Corvallis, OR)

"It's just not funny if she looks so sexy."
Randy Dreyfuss (Los Angeles, CA)

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"
Eva Liane Foster (Princeton, NJ)

So hey: Maybe New Jersey will finally make it to the double digits.

My loser? I went with verbosity:

"This will be perfect after a couple of changes. First, change the
setting to outer space. And then make the central figure an astronaut."

And I note that my anti-caption

"I know I'm new at this, but don't you think a caveman would be funnier?"

was also in the ballpark. (And I note that Emdashes recently asked New Yorker librarians Jon Michaud and Erin Overbey about the magazine's cartoon editors with nary a word about aliens.)


In Anti-Caption Contest 117 (circus ring in living room), the winner is

"Well, sir, PETA made us release the animals. OSHA made us get rid of the trapeze, ring of fire and so forth. The health department closed down the concessions because of trans-fats. The carney workers went on strike. I'm afraid this is all that's left. But, you know, 'step right up!' and all that."
JohnnyB

My losers:

Bil Keane: Behind the Panels [props to stcoleridge]

"Don't worry about all those people watching us with their computers. This isn't 2001: A Space Odyssey, and nobody can see our lips moving anyway."

Caption Contest 118 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 116 is here; this round's winner will snag a copy of clever writer A. J. Jacobs's The Year of Living Biblically!


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

17 New York (15 from the Big Apple)

9 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

4 Connecticut (two from New Haven, two not)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Illinois
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas
3 Virginia

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

California is the first state to accumulate 20 wins, thanks to Contest 112 (Frank Cotham cavemen inspecting big gun):

"We're gonna need a bigger spear."
Peter Lorber (Thousand Oaks, CA)

So there are now two winners from Thousand Oaks, as Chip Bolcik won Contest 33.


California can win yet again in Contest 114 (Drew Dernavich lifeguard tower next to tall, cloud-enshrouded tower), where the contenders are

"He's the lifeguard during high tide."
Jennifer Shelly (New Braunfels, TX)

"God needed a part-time job."
Genevieve Marshall (Champlain, NY)

"The regular lifeguard isn't seeing anybody today."
Jeffrey White (San Francisco, CA)

My loser? Something along the lines of

"Big tower? What big tower??"

In Anti-Caption Contest 115 (P. C. Vey's two men in bar, one wearing protective suit), the winner is

"Why, I just got out of a toxic relationship, and I could really use a drink! No, but seriously, there was a chemical spill over on 43rd and hundreds are dead. I'm surprised you haven't heard."
J

J, along with the two finalists, gets a copy of Jamie Malanowski's The Coup.

My losers:

"Sure, it's hard for ME to take a drink. But YOU are going to die from radiation poisoning. Unless you die from something else first. So yes: I should have taken a decontamination shower before coming here, but I didn't want to miss JAMIE MALANOWSKI reading from his fantastic new satirical novel, THE COUP. But of course, as you know, this guerilla-marketing event was cancelled because poor Malanowski got hit full force by the explosion. Only ashes remain of the blasted bugger now. So, you see, you and I are both shit out of luck. The world is an absurd place, isn't it? It's times like these when I wish we had something we could actually laugh about. Hey, wait a minute. Shouldn't there have been a face mask on this thing?"

"For the hundredth time: I don't know why nobody told us about the Halloween party. Good thing our clothing is the same size. Hah--now everyone will mistake you for me and me for you! If anybody ever shows up, that is. It wouldn't be much of a party if we were the only ones here, would it now? Hey...wait a minute...I think we might've been played for fools!"

"The olives here are obscene...but the peanuts send me into anaphylactic shock! And this suit would work a lot better if the bartender hadn't used the face mask as a condiment tray. Or was it a condom tray?"

"I wear this because the New York Mets have been stinking it up so badly."

Caption Contest 116 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 116 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

16 New York (14 from the Big Apple)

9 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

4 Connecticut (two from New Haven, two not)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Illinois
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Virginia

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Texas
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone