OSCAR NOTES. What did Tami Lane want to say in her "thank you" speech for Best Makeup? Co-winner Howard Berger hogged all the allotted time. I hereby sentence him to five hours in a room wearing a muzzle while being "lectured" by Deborah Tannen.

The pimp song? Okay, I guess, maybe...but that production number? Possibly one of Oscar's Top Ten worst moments, which is saying a lot. Expect it to turn up on whatever the YouTube of the future will be, it's so funny-bad!

Speaking of the future, fantasy and science fiction films should get special consideration in categories such as Costume Design and Art Direction. Why? Because they have to start from scratch (relatively speaking). I'm not saying period dramas (such as this year's Memoirs of a Geisha) should never take home those prizes...but come on, people!

Speaking of Memoirs of a Geisha, it must have some amazing cinematography if it outdid the stunning photography of The New World.

And then there's Charlize Theron's dress. A sartorial equivalent of a handheld cellphone, it is not to be worn while driving, and especially not when switching into the fast lane.

Other dresses: Too many flesh tones for the peach-colored people.

Way to go, Martin McDonagh--you're hot!

Robert Altman montage: Downplayed too many films!!! I know at least one regular reader doesn't like The Company...but I missed those images! And the images from Images! And Popeye...and 3 Women....

Robert Altman speech: Fine...but too bad he didn't explicitly thank his heart donor.

Getting back to the future, next year is the year of Scorcese!

Crash??? Sigh. Maybe next year won't be Scorcese's after all.

I am not authorized by the Academy to tally the results, but right now it seems to me that Crash, King Kong, Brokeback Mountain, and Memoirs of a Geisha all tied for the lead with three wins each. Kinda screwed in the process? That would be Spielberg, but he can take it. I hope he continues to take more Munich-like risks!

Feel free to discuss.