WAITING WEEKLY. Today's serving consists of two dates.

Your jaw drops. "Two dates? I can't subsist on two dates! I don't give a fig for two dates!"

"Ah," I respond reassuringly. "These dates make a perfect pair. I recommend that you start with Better Luck Next Time and finish with Tiramisu Dreams.

"And when you are finished with those dates, you may enjoy three complimentary shots from your waitress."