MORE HARPERIZING THE NEW YORKER CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST!

This week the New Yorker Caption Contest and Dan Radosh's Anti-Caption Contest seem to be at a standstill. (I summarize last week's results here.) But there's no need to fret, for—as promised—I now offer more "analysis" of the weekly New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest!


So far I've established that California and New York have been the dominant states (with the Big Apple being the dominant city), seemingly leaving a kind of caption wasteland along the Central/Mountain Time line. You can see this phenomenon from a bird's-eye view on this map, where virtual red pins mark the first 100 winners.

I've also noted that men comprise the overwhelming majority of contest cartoonists—and that the cartoon "protagonists" (the ones who say the caption) are about 71% male and 25% female, with about 4% of indeterminate gender.

My research led me to the somewhat contested observation that "the first hundred cartoons in the Caption Contest, drawn mainly by men, tend to depict male, light-skinned, and apparently heterosexual 'protagonists' in work and home situations. However, in the bedroom scenarios, the 'protagonists' tend to be female.'"

Now I'm going to offer what contestants will probably value most: information about what makes a winner.

Some of the figures are objective, others are more subjective. As always, I concede that I am quite capable of making errors. I remain open to constructive, especially fawning, criticism and hope that even if some of my judgment calls are wrong, the "gist" of the conclusions is valid.


GENDER OF WINNERS
Looking over the names of the winners (and supplementing the work with a little Googling), I estimate the genders of the first 100 contest winners to be:

75% Male
19% Female
6% "Indeterminate" (by me so far)

Out of curiosity, I looked into the correspondence between the genders of the writers and the genders of the protagonists.

Female Winners: 8F/11M Protagonists
Male Winners: 14F/61M/4I Protagonists
"Indeterminate" Winners: 3F/3M Protagonists

The most common first name among winners is David (4) with Bob/Robert/Rob also adding up to 4. The most common last name of winners is Gable (2), which gives me an opportunity to once again salute Carl Gable for winning twice.


NUMBER OF WORDS

The maximum allowable word count was 25.

The highest winning word count was 20 (#14 and #96).

The lowest word count was 3 (#42 and #84).

The average winning word count was 9.56.

The most common winning word count was 7, with 17 wins total. 10 words came in second with 13 wins total.

7 words might have been lucky (or maybe it was skill), but 13 words turned out to be very unlucky: No winners have been that long.

SENTENCE COUNT

86% Single Sentence

12% Two Sentences

2% Three Sentences

TYPES OF CAPTION
While compiling the results, I began noticing something about the captions: Many of them seemed to be familiar phrases or "turns" of familiar phrases. So I decided to classify them in three categories. The process was pretty subjective (perhaps five categories, or different types of categories would have served better), but I think the results are, in the end, reliable enough to indicate a significant trend. So here are the categories, followed by the results.

"Familiar Phrases" are just that. They include cliches and common expressions. Examples:

"Well, if you must know, he makes me laugh."
"The hours here are obscene."
"So sue me."

"Turns of Phrases" are Familiar Phrases with a Twist. Examples:

"We met at the minibar."
"Take three thousand Tylenol and call me in the morning."
"It's not just that he walks upright and uses complex tools. He also makes me laugh."

Yes, I know that last example especially could go into the Familiar Phrase category. I totally see that. Ultimately, though, that might be beside the point.

"Less Familiar Phrases" are those that don't fit as well in the other categories. Examples:

"This is my stop. Phil, you'll be C.E.O. till Sixty-third Street."
"Wait. Would we still be doing this if the sky weren't falling?"
"Interested in a threesome? I'll just sit on the floor and sort tax receipts."

The results:

43% Familiar Phrases
42% Turns of Familiar Phrases
15% Less Familiar Phrases

So here's the gist: Many, many of the first hundred winning captions consisted of familiar phrases, either verbatim or with a twist. This surprised me, though I realize it might not come as a shock to some (such as Dan Radosh).


ANOTHER SHOCKING CONCLUSION
So, if you wanted to win the first 100 weekly New Yorker caption contests, it helped to be Carl Gable, who won twice. He kept his captions brief (4 words/1 sentence, 5 words/2 sentences), and went with Turns of Familiar Phrases—or at least generally Familiar Phrases—in both cases:

"Well, that was abominable."
"Hmm. What rhymes with layoffs?"

As for the winners in general:

It helped to be funny in 20 words or less, but no fewer than 3. And never 13.

A single sentence was fine most of the time (though emdashes were allowable).

It was very helpful to rely on familiar phrases, either verbatim or with a twist. (The winningest phrase was "He makes me laugh.")

Men tended to win and have an edge with gender-indeterminate protagonists. Proportionately, women tended to do better than men when it came to scripting female protagonists.

And, when you're up against Carl Gable, it doesn't hurt to be from the Northeast or California...or at least a metropolitan area.

Comments? Questions?

ADDENDUM Emdashes now offers Canadian intern John Bucher's interview with cartoonist Mick Stevens and contest winner David Kempler of Island Park. The discussion touches upon the problems that arise when it is difficult to figure just who's doing the talking in the cartoons—something that still bugs me in relation to #13. Your input is most welcome, dear reader.


Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone