The Palin Pardon Problem

Didja see the controversial turkey pardon by Sarah Palin? I'm not shy about criticizin the Alaskan governor, but this case I concur with Wonkette—the real problem is the squeamish, convention-bound coverage that (as far as I can tell) censored footage that was actually innocuous, makin it seem much more sensational than it actually was.



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Here's "uncensored" footage.



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And here's a parody from Slate, with thanks to Keith Olbermann.



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CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE PAUSES, SORT OF!

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest pauses this week, but there's still some news as well as an Anti-Caption Contest result.


The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 149 (Mick Stevens's man with jet pack in doorway of woman in curlers) is

"Good Morning. I have an IM from Kaitlyn: 'IMHO you should wear that cute power-blue top today with your white shirt...I'm hearng that Tyler likes Ashley, but she is so not interested...Didn't Morgan look fat yesterday in that hideous outfit? I'm like: What were you thinking, girl?...Oh, and please get your computer fixed. My mom's starting to bitch that this costs too much. (She's such a Drama Queen)...See ya at school!'"
al in la

My loser:

"I invented the jet-pack and flew over here as soon as I learned you were a cross-dressing exhibitionist, but I'm afraid, sir, that it just wasn't worth the effort."

Otherwise there are at least two caption developments. Recent winner Patrick House of Palo Alto followed his victory ("O.K. I'm at the window. To the right? Your right or my right?") with a Slate article entitled, "How to Win the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest." Online respondents to this article include two-time winner Lawrence Wood of Chicago, who wrote

Patrick House's caption -- "O.K. I'm at the window. To the right? Your right or my right?" -- was good, but I think even he'll admit that it wasn't as good as the one I submitted: "O.K. I'm at the window. My right or your right?" Brevity being the soul of wit, my shorter caption (which was substantively identical to the winning entry) should have been selected over Mr. House's. Why wasn't it? I can't be sure, but since I've already won two caption contests (nos. 92 and 123), I think The New Yorker is reluctant to give me a third victory. Or maybe it's because I'm Jewish. The New Yorker is a notoriously anti-Semitic publication.

So once again I feel obliged to share my own submission:

"Okay, I give up. What has six toes and ten fingers and climbs walls?"

You know, I'm letting go of the notion that my loser submission was notably close to the winner...but still!

Maybe it should've been "Okay, I give up. What climbs walls and has ten fingers but only six toes?"

I guess I just can't let go of this one.


Of course, I'm not the only loser in Blogland. Michael Neal wrote to Slate to draw attention to his How to lose the New Yorker cartoon caption contest posts at SlapClap.


And Dan Radosh is accepting questions for caption contest gatekeeper Farley Katz.


Caption Contest 149 is here, while the Anti-Caption Contest Bonus is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

27 California

21 New York (18 from the Big Apple)

12 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 North Carolina

3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 Arizona
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

LARRY, HE HARDLY BLEW YE

More evidence that I'm a loser: In all the years I've gone to men's bathrooms, I've yet to notice the friendly foot, the enticing hand, the toilet stall sex tryst.

So, in order to understand the latest developments in national politics, I needed some explanations.

Fortunately, Slate has been all over this one.

Bathroom Sex FAQ
Craig's Lust

And here's a CNN interview with a leader of Atlanta's Anti-Sex League.



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But of course, the zealous suppression of homosexuality couldn't possibly be the big issue here. The big issue would be the fate of the reconstituted Singing Senators. As recently as July, Larry Craig reunited with John Ashcroft and Trent Lott to perform at a fundraiser for the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute. I imagine Larry's resignation comes as a terrible blow for John and Trent.

Just as Stephen Colbert predicted, it really hasn't been the same since Jim Jeffords left the group.



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