Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Continues!

The winner of Caption Contest 197 (Drew Dernavich's plane with stiletto landing gear) is

"She's a lover, not a fighter."
Robert McLean (Tampa, FL)

The nominees in Caption Contest 199 (Michael Crawford's snorkeler in court) are

“You think Alcatraz can hold me?”
Joshua Rosales (Rosemead, CA)

"Go ahead, waterboard me."
Lester Craft, Jr. (Basalt, CO)

“Well, the menu did say ‘Choose your own lobster.’”
Donna Palmer (Chattanooga, TN)

My loser:

"What makes you think I was doing something fishy?"

The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 200 (Ethan Kanin's Satan in God's reception room) is

"Yes, we can schedule a session for you same time next Tuesday Mr. Johnson. To be honest, you don't even have to ask anymore. As sexual role-playing businesses go, this has turned out to be a much more limited market than we anticipated. Don't forget to leave your suit to be dry-cleaned."
v

Cartoon Caption Contest 201 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 200 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

33 New York (28 from the Big Apple, where Lynn Tudor has won twice)

32 California

14 New Jersey

12 Virginia (six from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

10 Illinois (eight from Chicago including three captions by Lawrence Wood)
10 Massachusetts

7 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 Pennsylvania
6 Texas (three from Houston, one from Austin)

5 Maryland (none named Mary)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Florida
3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 Nevada (Las Vegas 1, Zephyr Cove 1)
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Maine
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Anti-Caption Contest Continues

The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 199 (Michael Crawford's snorkeler in court) is

"Court is a depressing place, where the permanent regime reinforces its absolute power with a due process charade that no longer bears even the appearance of legitimacy."
J.D.

My loser:

"Judge, you've got to believe me! I'm from a distant planet where everybody wears snorkel gear unless they're going snorkeling!! Something must have gone wrong with the man who was snorkeling at the transporter!!!"

Things are pretty quiet at The New Yorker this week, but you might (or might not) still be able to enter Caption Contest 199.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

33 New York (28 from the Big Apple, where Lynn Tudor has won twice)

32 California

14 New Jersey

12 Virginia (six from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

10 Illinois (eight from Chicago including three captions by Lawrence Wood)

9 Massachusetts

7 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 Pennsylvania
6 Texas (three from Houston, one from Austin)

5 Maryland (none named Mary)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 Nevada (Las Vegas 1, Zephyr Cove 1)
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Maine
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

The winner of Caption Contest 161 (Michael Crawford's interview with giant lobster) is

"So why did you leave Red Lobster?"
Paul Vogel (Arlington, VA)

And so Virginia further solidifies its fourth-place position.


In Caption Contest 163 (P. C. Vey's man at lectern at restaurant table), the nominees are

"The ratatouille is good today. I am the owner and I approve this message."
Jean Pyle (Hawthorne, NJ)

"What's your stance on first-date sex? You have two minutes to respond."
Frank Campanella (New York, NY)

"And, if you elect me, all Americans will be able to choose soup and salad!"
Peter LaMassa (Massapequa Park, NY)

No loser from me this time.


The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 164 (David Borchart's goat house) is

"Leave if you must, but I won't be responsible for the safety of your tin can collection." Mark

My loser:

"Oy! How was I to know that Chad Gadya doesn't work out in real life? Dayenu!"

Kudos to Roger Kaputnik for the runner-up

"Trust me, you'll eventually get used to the smell. I was talking to the goats!"

Caption Contest 165 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 165 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

29 California

26 New York (23 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

9 Virginia (four from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

The winner of Caption Contest 159 (Drew Dernavich's conferees with gargantuan mugs) is

"By a 9-0 vote, the rest-room expansion project is approved."
Jon Thompson (Sedona, AZ)

Don't ask me if this anything to do with John McCain's election, but do check out the new design elements over at the website of The New Yorker.


In Caption Contest 161 (Michael Crawford's interview with gargantuan lobster), the nominees are

"So why did you leave Red Lobster?"
Paul Vogel (Arlington, VA)

"I guess we have a deal, but we don’t have to shake on it."
Candace Klomann (Tucson, AZ)

"So you think you’re ready for the corner tank?"
Meghan Dowd (Somerville, MA)

My loser:

"According to this letter of recommendation, you work best with spinach and a vanilla beurre blanc."

The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 161 is

"I'm sorry, we were looking for a more normal-sized lobster."
Francis

My loser:

"If you think working for this company is tough, look out for our Japanese competitors. They will eat you alive!"

The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 162 (Robert Mankoff's man with snake as a leash) is

"...yeah, so if my daughter turns up let me know."
Trotman

And I got nothing for ya on that one.


Caption Contest 163 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 163 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

29 California

25 New York (22 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

8 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

California's surge continues with its unprecedented third win in a row—all from SoCal! This one is in Caption Contest 132 (Michael Crawford's swordsman at suburban breakfast):

"We're all out of the blood of your enemies. You'll have to settle for marmalade."
Jason Beck (Los Angeles, CA)

California could accumulate another win in Caption Contest 134 (Jack Ziegler's couple in bed wearing protective suits), but it will first have to take on a Goulder from Boulder. The nominees are

"Don't sexual fantasies usually involve sex at some point?"
Alex Goulder (Boulder, CO)

"Next time can we just get flu shots like everyone else?"
Matthew May (Westlake Village, CA)

"Not tonight, dear. I have acute radiation poisoning."
Stephen Schwartz (Wilmette, IL)

My loser:

"I'd be more impressed if you learned to use a butter knife."

In Anti-Caption Contest 135 (P. C. Vey's guests with giant bomb), the winner is

"Allahu akbar to you, allahu akbar to you, allahu akbar dear Maaaaaar-tin, allahu akbar to yoooooou!"
Francis

My Fab loser:

"Greetings from Pepperland!"

Caption Contest 136 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 136 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

23 California

20 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

11 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 Texas (two from Houston)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio

2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

It's a very good week for California, which regains the lead over New York in Caption Contest 130 (P. C. Vey's snowman with waving arms) with

"It's all the witness-protection program would offer him."
Suzanne Geba (San Diego, CA)

And now two out of the three nominees in Caption Contest 132 (Michael Crawford's sword-wielding Mongol at breakfast in the 'burbs) are from the Golden State.

"We're all out of the blood of your enemies. You'll have to settle for marmalade."
Jason Beck (Los Angeles, CA)

"If you didn't want crusts, you should have said so."
Vic Comello (Franklin Park, IL)

"How many cubicles will you conquer today, hon?"
Scott Corlett (San Francisco, CA)

My loser:

"I'd be more impressed if you learned to use a butter knife."

In Anti-Caption Contest 133 (Danny Shanahan's impaled caveman art gallery), the winner is

[a Neanderthal animal rights meeting]
 "It's so wonderful that you saved that giant beast from the hunters. Soon we'll convert everyone to a healthy vegetarian life style and finally displace that other emerging human species."
MAtt

My losers

"You remind me of our comedian friend Steve, except he has an arrow through his head."

"It's a shame they don't give out Stone Age Oscars for Best Stuntwork."

"Who could ever forget your big play in the Super Hunt?"

"It looks so life-like!"

"Is that spear real?"

And Caption Contest 134 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 134 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

21 California

20 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

11 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 Texas (two from Houston)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio

2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

The winner of Caption Contest 125 (Michael Crawford's couple in bed with four men in suits) is

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."
John Late (Satellite Beach, FL)

That's two wins for the Sunshine State.


In Caption Contest 127 (Drew Dernavich's ice fishing through the outline of a man), the nominees are

"I put some beer on the hook. I figure if that's what got him into this mess it should be able to get him out."
Kea Wheeler (Westland, MI)

"Ice fishing and skydiving—who says they don't go together?"
Michael Robinson (Riverton, NJ)

"He's got a new fish-whispering technique."
Joelle Santucci (Portsmouth, RI)

My loser:

"Harry Bailey? Haven't seen him."

At least I finally got to use an It's a Wonderful Life joke.


In Anti-Caption Contest 127 (Drew Dernavich's fishing hole shaped like a human), everyone's a winner. My winners:

"My fishing buddy is Johnny Fuckin’ Storm, yo!"

"Hello. My name is Ray. I am a homicide detective who is fishing for clues."

"Watch. I’ll yank out his heart in a minute!"

In Anti-Caption Contest 128 (Carolita Johnson's big dog in reading room), the winner is

"Do you think they'll euthanize him with one big shot, or just lots of regular-sized shots?"
Dave [No relation.—Ed.]

My losers:

"I think I'll call former trainer Brian McNamee and order more of his special biscuits for Roger here. While I'm at it, do you want anything for yourself, big boy?"

"I never felt comfortable talking about this before, but I'm glad we finally did something about the 800-pound gorilla."

Caption Contest 129 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 129 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California
20 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

10 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Virginia (two from Richmond)

4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas

2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

The winner of Caption Contest 123 (Leo Cullum's cows watching bull breaking window by red curtain) is

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"
Lawrence Wood (Chicago, IL)

So double congratulations are due to two-time winner Wood, who previously prevailed in Caption Contest 92!


In Caption Contest 125 (Michael Crawford's couple watching TV in bed with four guys in suits), the nominees are

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."
John Late (Satellite Beach, FL)

"So this is what it's like to be a Nielsen family."
Richard LeBlanc (Dallas, TX)

"Next week I pick the fantasy."
Peter Bruland (New York, NY)

My loser:

"We were cuter 40 years ago."

As for Anti-Caption Contest 126, Dan Radosh is having a tougher week than I am, so the results will have to wait.


Caption Contest 127 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 127 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

19 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

10 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Virginia (two from Richmond)


4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone