Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

The winner of Cartoon Contest 170 (P.C. Vey's businessman carrying fowl carcass) is

"I miss the cash bonuses."
Robert Becker (Northford, CT)

Congrats to Becker and Connecticut, which won out over contest leaders California and New York!


The nominees in Contest 172 (Lee Lorenz's grinning head on Easter Island) are

"We really need to revisit our immigration policy."
Robert Marinai (Oakland, CA)

"Ah, the innocence of youth."
Steve Rappaport (Brooklyn, NY)

"Guess who's getting voted off the island."
Michael Vorenberg (Barrington, RI)

My loser:

Obama Island

There are no results for Anti-Caption Contest 173 (Tom Cheney's money-carriers) at the time of this posting.


Caption Contest 174 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 174 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

30 California

27 New York (23 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

9 Virginia (four from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke)

8 Illinois (six from Chicago, two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

7 Massachusetts

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 Pennsylvania

5 Maryland (none named Mary)
5 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio

3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

Um. Uh-huh. Clears throat. Thank you. Thank you. This is such a surprise! I'm not sure what to say, but....Takes out pre-written speech. I can't tell you how exciting it is to finally win one of these things after so many years of trying. Pause. I just want to say that this shows that, if you try hard and you don't give up, you can get recognition! And I feel like I'm in such good company in Anti-Caption Contest 172 (Lee Lorenz's happy head amidst Easter Island statues). I mean, over there is

Standup comedian, off-panel: "You see, black people carve statues like this, and white people carve statues like THIS!"
Francis

and over there is

"Kill him."
Deborah

and there was even

Why the long faces?
xjvpastor

and

"This is Obamahead land. No McCain heads allowed."
J.D.

And to think that all of them lost to my anti-caption:

"What the fuck are you smiling about? It's World AIDS Day, asshole!"
David F

And finally, I'd like to thank the one person who inspired me more than anyone else: Larry Kramer. Thanks, Larry. I'l continue to do what I can to get your Lost Horizon on DVD soon!


In Caption Contest 169 (Leo Cullum's bandito businessman), the winner is

"What makes you think I wouldn't be up for sushi?"
Neal Svalstad (El Cajon, CA)

So thanks to the man from El Cajon, California hits 30 and beats New York as well as Illinois.


California and New York face off again (with Michigan) in Caption Contest 171 (Gahan Wilson's butcher with meat shaped like kick line), the nominees are

"I'd suggest you keep them away from the gingerbread men."
Vincent Coca (Staten Island, NY)

"It's not disturbing until someone wants to buy them by the ounce."
Steve Arrowood (Oceanside, CA)

"I did the choreography myself."
Donovan Reeve (Ypsilanti, MI)

My loser:

"I used to sell strip steaks, but they cleaned up their act."

Thoughts?


Caption Contest 173 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 173 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

30 California

27 New York (23 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

9 Virginia (four from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke)

8 Illinois (six from Chicago, two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

7 Massachusetts

6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Maryland (none named Mary)
5 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio

3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

The winner of Caption Contest 155 (Lee Lorenz's therapy session with Wizard of Oz characters) is

"And my hourly fee is six hundred dollars. You're not in Kansas anymore."
Bill Craig (Ridgewood, NJ)

I think this might be a case where the winning caption words end up in the mouth of the "wrong" cartoon character, in this case the man in the background rather than the man in the foreground. Thoughts?


In Caption Contest 157 (Mick Stevens's living room with view of the cosmos), the nominees are

"Five hundred billion galaxies and nothing's on."
Tom Elia (New York, NY)

"Can I offer anyone a little more oxygen?"
Norma Allewell (Rockville, MD)

"See? Foreclosure's not all bad."
Janice Ambrose (Tucson, AZ)

I think my loser was in the ballpark:

"You think this is impressive? You should see it on my 65" high-definition plasma screen with fiber optic cable!"

The talented and charming Deborah selected the winner (and runners-up) of Anti-Caption Contest 158 (Zachary Kanin's kid at beach surrounded by talking heads emerging from sand):

"I'd hate to be in your shoes! Oh, wait..."
T.G. Gibbon

My loser:

"The undertow and the jellyfish may be keeping people out of the surf today, but it's the sand that's giving me a real pain in the ass!"

Caption Contest 159 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 159 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

28 California

24 New York (21 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

7 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Arizona (two from Tucson)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Coverage Continues!

Folks from North Carolina, kick up your tar heels! The winner of Caption Contest 153 (Leo Cullum's kick-line in court) is

"I know you have the law and the facts on your side, but I'm going with the dancing girls on this one."
Mark Nebrig (Charlotte, NC)

In Caption Contest 155 (Lee Lorenz's counseling session with sad-looking characters from The Wizard of Oz), the candidates are

"And my hourly fee is six hundred dollars. You're not in Kansas anymore."
Bill Craig (Ridgewood, NJ)

"If you adopt her, please understand that she comes with a lot of baggage."
Eileen Brady (Portland, OR)

"Home—is there really no place like it? Who'd like to start?"
Whitworth Ferguson (Manassas, VA)

This is one of those cases that makes me feel my submission was pretty worthy in itself, especially if you dig Broadway.

"They saw 'Wicked.'"

Thoughts?


Over in Anti-Caption Land, the news is that Dan Radosh is on hiatus, leaving a bunch of "All Stars" (including yours truly) free to wreak havoc. Deborah Grumet and I have already teamed up with this. Harry Effron gets to judge the next contest; Deborah gets to judge the one after that. At least I think that's how it works!


Caption Contest 157 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 157 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

28 California

24 New York (21 from the Big Apple)

12 New Jersey

7 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Arizona (two from Tucson)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Coverage Continues!

The winner of Caption Contest 152 (Mick Stevens's car behind very large globe) is

"Honey, I told you the whole world is headed to the Cape this weekend."
Terri-Lee Burger (Brooklyn, NY)

So that's two wins in a row for the Big Apple, narrowing California's lead to four!


In Caption Contest 154 (Drew Dernavich's men in suits roasting marshmallows over burning conference table), the nominees are

"The first rule of s'mores club is you do not talk about s'mores club."
Jason Melancon (New Orleans, LA)

"Next, Jenkins, I expect a ghost story. On my desk at 3 P.M. sharp."
Audrey Bartus (Naperville, IL)

"I think we got some really good ideas from bring-your-child-to-work day."
Geoffrey Holm (Bellevue, WA)

My loser:

"I'm still not getting that Bohemian Grove feeling."

Thoughts?


In Anti-Caption Contest 156 (Lee Lorenz's two civilians at Wizard of Oz therapy), the winner is

"This group is for overcoming poppy-dependency. You two meth-heads need to go next door."
therblig

My losers:

"They finally found Toto, washed ashore at Montauk Point. He was almost unrecognizable."

"They're suffering from Post-Traumatic Shoe Disorder."

"Do you think this Dr. Oz is a humbug?"

Caption Contest 156 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 156 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

28 California

24 New York (21 from the Big Apple)

12 New Jersey

7 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 North Carolina

3 Arizona (two from Tucson)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Satirical "Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

Before getting around to the contest results, I'd like to comment on the new illustration (right).

Last week artist Deborah Grumet and I worked on a fully realized response to Barry Blitt's satirical New Yorker cover depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as Islamic terrorist types in the Oval Office. I wanted a satirical parody cover that would "turn the tables" on The New Yorker, and I was delighted to find that Deborah was onboard with the concept. So far our cover's gotten some attention at The Tim Zone and elicited some musing from New Yorker cartoonist Carolita Johnson, whose amusing and informative guide to "Lunch Hour Birds of Central Park" received a lot of play over the past week despite its rejection by The New Yorker.


On to a less controversial topic—you know, the lighter side of suicide—the winner of Caption Contest 150 (Lee Lorenz's man with gun to his head), is none other than

"Just come to bed and kill yourself in the morning."
Marcos El Malo (Los Angeles, CA)

I wonder what salsa trombonist Willie Colon would have to say about that!


In Caption Contest 152 (Mick Stevens's car blocked by Earth), it's looking like a CA-NY faceoff. The nominees are

"Why do I always get stuck behind the slow planets?"
Brian Ahern (Long Beach, NY)

"Oh, great, we're stuck behind a four-and-a-half-billion-year-old."
Ari Stern (North Hollywood, CA)

"Honey, I told you the whole world is headed to the Cape this weekend."
Terri-Lee Burger (Brooklyn, NY)

My reject:

"Looks like we're almost there."

In Anti-Caption Contest 153 (Leo Cullum's female kickline in court, with one disapproving lawyer), the winner is

"Hubba hubba! Maybe a dingo did eat the defendant's baby!"
kejo

My rejects:

"Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, ho ho ho. What do you mean, you don't 'get' the satire?"

"Don't look so glum--next week we'll bring in male strippers. That should turn your frown upside-down! Or something to that effect."

"Hey, I know what's obscene when I see it. And I sure hope I see it. Lots and lots of it!"

Caption Contest 154 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 154 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

28 California

22 New York (19 from the Big Apple)

12 New Jersey

7 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 North Carolina

3 Arizona (two from Tucson)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont
2 Washington

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

"Eustace K. Tilley" illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

The winner of Caption Contest 148 (Drew Dernavich's police lineup with five religious figures) is

"By the way, we are not allowed to show the face or image of No. 6."
Joel Collier (Roanoke, VA)

Congratulations to Collier, whose win advances Virginia into the fourth-place position!


In Caption Contest 150 (Lee Lorenz's man with gun to his head in bullet-riddled room), the nominees are

"Bullets don't grow on trees, Harry."
Stephen Schweiger (Montclair, NJ)

"I told you to hire a professional!"
Ela Kotkowska (New London, NH)

"Just come to bed and kill yourself in the morning."
Marcos El Malo (Los Angeles, CA)

My loser:

"For heaven's sake, Fred, it was only a caption contest."

Opinions?


In Anti-Caption Contest 151 (Cheney's office with giant pencils and sharpener), the winner (selected by Harry Effron) is

"You know the worst part about this job? I'm allergic to pencils. And they knew it, too, when they hired me. I hate this fucking company."
Tom Meltze

Congrats to Deborah for snagging an honorable mention with

"Your job would be to sharpen these pencils. What experience do you have sharpening pencils?"

I didn't get anything for any of my submissions:

"As I'm sure you know, pens are famous for being mightier than swords. But these seven pencils--when sharpened properly and wielded by a skilled practitioner--are just as powerful as pens, if not moreso. So, Mr. Grasshopper, I ask you the last and most important question of this interview: Do you have the patience, discipline, and concentration to sharpen your skills to become a true master of the Seven Deadly Pencils? I ask because, you see, you left that space blank on the application."

"Welcome to the headquarters of The Big Store! Are you enjoying 1988 as much as I am? This is going to be a great year for us, and a great year for the Mets!"

"What do you mean when you say you'd 'like to put lead in my pencil'? Which pencil?? And why not use graphite, silly???"

Caption Contest 152 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 152 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

27 California

22 New York (19 from the Big Apple)

12 New Jersey

7 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Roanoke)

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 North Carolina

3 Arizona (two from Tucson)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

Let's hear it for me! The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 150 (Lee Lorenz's woman confronting man who has a gun to his head) is

"Don't forget to slaughter the children."
Gary Goldsmith

but I managed to score an Honorary Mention with

"M. Night Shyamalan presents The Happening: The New Yorker Cartoon"

Which just goes to show that you can get Dan Radosh's attention even if you're the very last person to post a caption before he announces the winners.


On the other hand, my losing streak at The New Yorker continues with Caption Contest 147 (Jack Ziegler's whale in court), which was won by the excellent though italics-deprived

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."
Will Simon (Brooklyn, NY)

Now New York is within five points of leader state California!


In Caption Contest 149 (Mick Stevens's man with jetpack at door of woman in curlers), the first cut consists of

"Can I borrow your Cessna?"
Michael Embley (Austin, TX)

"Are you sure you're ovulating now?"
Natalie O'Connell (City Island, NY)

"Apparently, American now charges extra for landings."
Steve Hoglund (Auburn, WA)

My loser:

"Emergency blow-dryer man, at your service!"

Caption Contest 151 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 151 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

27 California

22 New York (19 from the Big Apple)

12 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 North Carolina

3 Arizona (two from Tucson)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Ohio

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone