POSTSECRET. Pssst! Here's the latest! And remember: PostSecret is coming to Columbus Circle on May 3, 2006!

WHERE WAS I? Impress with your guess here!

PUZZLE TIME! Activate the puzzle by running your cursor over it. Enjoy--it's fairly easy to solve! (Also note that other puzzles of varying difficulty can be found throughout this blog.)



Puzzle: flash-gear.com
Photo: David Marc Fischer

GEORGE CLONEY? Here's an unsettling image. Here's the context.

TONIGHT ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. A bandit gang attacks Kadija’s aunt and her group when they try to collect firewood. When Almina begs her rapist to kill her, he replies, "May shame kill you." An aerial bombardment of a village well kills Safa and many of her neighbors. Five armed men burst into Asha's hut, shoot her 15-year-old son, and rape her.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

TELE-BONING. Katie Anne Naylon recounts being a phone sex entrepreneur during her college years. But don't draw any hasty conclusions about her! "At 23, I'm still holding out for love when it comes to real sex," Katie declares in New York Press.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

BLOGORHYTHMS. You can find coverage of Saturday's peace march in New York City (with an illustration of a woman carrying a peace sign) at Terrorism News.

WHERE WAS I? I've added a third visual clue here.

THE WORST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY? Gothamist reports that there was a huge turnout at today's March for Peace, Justice & Democracy. Gothamist's coverage opens with an AP photo that gives prominence to a placard that announces "BUSH IS MORE EVIL THAN BIN LADEN." Some Gothamist commenters responded by judging the demonstration as if that one statement were the official message of the event, but that's not so. The website for the march states the following:

End the war in Iraq
Bring all our troops home now!

No war on Iran!
Stand up for immigrant and women's rights!

Unite for change -- let's turn our country around!
The times are urgent and we must act.

Too much is too wrong in this country. We have a foreign policy that is foreign to our core values, and domestic policies wreaking havoc at home. It's time for a change.

Are any of those positions really controversial at this point, as more and more Americans realize how "questionable" the federal government's policies and tactics have been?

As for President Bush, I don't see much point in discussing his performance in terms of relative evil. But I do note that Princeton University professor and New Republic contributor Sean Wilentz recently voiced serious concerns about Bush in a Rolling Stone article entitled "The Worst President in History?"

Sample passages:

Many historians are now wondering whether Bush, in fact, will be remembered as the very worst president in all of American history.

No previous president appears to have squandered the public's trust more than Bush has.

No other president -- Lincoln in the Civil War, FDR in World War II, John F. Kennedy at critical moments of the Cold War -- faced with such a monumental set of military and political circumstances failed to embrace the opposing political party to help wage a truly national struggle.

The heart of Bush's domestic policy has turned out to be nothing more than a series of massively regressive tax cuts -- a return, with a vengeance, to the discredited Reagan-era supply-side faith that Bush's father once ridiculed as "voodoo economics."

While wiping out the solid Clinton-era federal surplus and raising federal deficits to staggering record levels, Bush's tax policies have necessitated hikes in federal fees, state and local taxes, and co-payment charges to needy veterans and families who rely on Medicaid, along with cuts in loan programs to small businesses and college students, and in a wide range of state services.

Bush has blazed a radical new path as the first American president in history who is outwardly hostile to science -- dedicated, as a distinguished, bipartisan panel of educators and scientists (including forty-nine Nobel laureates) has declared, to "the distortion of scientific knowledge for partisan political ends."

History may ultimately hold Bush in the greatest contempt for expanding the powers of the presidency beyond the limits laid down by the U.S. Constitution.

Thanks to Reignforest for the lead to the Rolling Stone article.

COSMIC LOOKS. Here are the latest Astronomy Pictures of the Day.

Do you have a favorite?

Image source (right)

WHERE WAS I? The guessing is progressing here.

THE DEATH OF MR. LAZARESCU. Okay, so the title of The Death of Mr. Lazarescu isn't as appealing as, say, Snakes on a Plane. And the story line, which follows an Eastern European man through a medical crisis, isn't exactly Mission Impossible material. But hey--if you think of the movie as a "very special" feature-length patient-perspective episode of ER set in Romania, well then, maybe this worthwhile film will seem more appealing.

I went into The Death of Mr. Lazarescu expecting that the Romanian health system would appear to be primitive, but I was surprised to find that the medical scene over there seems to have a lot in common with what many of us might encounter in the greater metropolitan area. Under director Cristi Puiu, the actors do excellent work that reminds me of Mike Leigh's ensembles. Patients, doctors, EMTs, and hospital staff are supposed to make health (including life) their priority, but it seems that personalities, schedules, budgets, and bureaucracy can critically interfere with that. Perhaps as with United 93, it's hard to go into the film without a sense of doom, but The Death of Mr. Lazarescu is different in that it represents something absolutely common that many of us can work to improve. It should be required viewing (and discussion fodder) for health care professionals and those responsible for establishing health care policies.

The film is scheduled to run at the Film Forum through May 9, 2006.

Photo (Mihai Bratila, Ion Fiscuteanu, and Luminita Gheorghiu): Tartan Films

CLASSIC TOONS. Congratulations to the blog Classic Cartoons for being featured at Blogger. Of course it's interesting to anyone who likes in cartoons (and who doesn't?)...but I swear you can actually create animation magic by scrolling this and this at just the right speed. Try it!

WHERE WAS I? Let the game resume! Leave your guesses in the comments section. Enjoy!














VISUAL CLUE ADDED APRIL 28














VISUAL CLUE ADDED APRIL 29













Photos: David Marc Fischer

ABOUT 1-800-552-0164. It's covered here.

WEEKEND PROTESTS. On Saturday, April 29, 2006, New York City will be home to a March for Peace, Justice and Democracy starting in Chelsea and heading downtown to Foley Square.

On Sunday, April 30, 2006, New York City restaurateurs (and their patrons) will show their support for oppressed Sudanese through Dining for Darfur. 5% of gross sales will go to the International Rescue Committee's humanitarian work in Darfur and neighboring Chad. Among the participating restaurants is a Blog About Town favorite: Hakata, a Japanese restaurant in the theater district.

Dining for Darfur is one of many North American events associated with Sunday's Rally to Stop Genocide in Washington, DC. Previous coverage is here.

Image Source

THE FAMOUS LAUGHING BABIES. Thanks to Empty Cerebrations for showing the way. Just one question: Are they really quintuplets?



Source

VISIT THE WILLIAMSBURGH SAVINGS BANK BUILDING! NewYorkology reports that the May 7, 2006 Fort Greene Association House Tour will include access to a high floor of the landmark Williamsburgh Savings Bank building. Tickets are $20 advance/$25 day of event.

Thanks to Gothamist for the lead.

WAITING WEEKLY. There's no better way to follow Due to Technical Difficulties than with Ball of Fire.

Both go very well with these complimentary shots from your waitress.

CRAZY LIKE A FOX: SCREENING OFFER. The New York Observer and The Delphi Film Foundation are offering passes to a movie starring Roger Rees:

Crazy Like a Fox
Wednesday, May 3, 2006 at 7:00 pm
Tribeca Grand Hotel Screening Room
2 Avenue of the Americas (6th Avenue at Church St & Walker St)

Go here for more info. Two other screening offers can be found here.

Note that the Crazy Like a Fox screening conflicts with a PostSecret event scheduled for the Borders at Columbus Circle.

COMEDY QUICKIE. Two seconds.



Source

NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY. It seems that the White House decided to go "in house" in choosing its next press secretary: CNN reports that Fox News anchor Tony Snow has accepted the job.

Time reports that the acceptance hinges on an oncologist's approval. According to Time, Snow had his colon removed as part of his cancer treatment last year.

BOOK NOTES. By now you've heard about Kaavya Viswanathan, the Harvard undergrad who got a $500,000 deal for a book that, it turns out, includes passages that look very similar to passages in Megan McCafferty's Sloppy Firsts, including something about going through "170 specialty shops" in New Jersey. Maud Newton offers an interesting slant: Perhaps the resemblance results from the book packaging process. Meanwhile, Caren Lissner, author of the very good and apparently original novel Carrie Pilby, speculates as to where one can find those New Jersey specialty shops. Lissner also thanks god that she didn't get a $500,000 advance for Carrie Pilby--it could have been ruinous!

You know which author could use a little cash? Charles Webb, author of The Graduate! Webb based the enduring story on his unusual relationship with a woman named Eve who goes by Fred. The two have been together for decades, but they now face eviction unless they can come up with about $2,859 in rent. (It seems that Webb made about $25,000 plus an extra $10,000 for the film rights to The Graduate.) Maud Newton says The Graduate is out of print, but it seems that Amazon has it in stock for less than ten dollars--perfect for a book group! Here's an excerpt.

In potentially related news, Kathleen Turner, who played Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate on Broadway, scored a six-figure deal for a memoir co-authored with Gloria Feldt, according to Publishers Lunch. PL also reports on the imminent arrival of Lance Olsen's Anxious Dreams, a retelling of Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" that offers Gregor's story from the perspectives of members of the Samsa household. The book scored a five-figure book deal; the phrase "anxious dreams" is from (a standard English translation of) "The Metamorphosis."

THREEPENNY OUTFIT. Poor, wonderful Wallace Shawn. First he was reenacted; now the peacenik's been fugged.

Emily Gordon of emdashes beat me out in covering the fugging, but she graciously gave me leave to write about it anyway. Thanks, Em!

716 UPDATE. Here is Episode 37: "Rosie the Dog Groomer."

Images created by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

BLOGORHYTHMS. Poor Ixtab--she's bored out her fucking mind in Crested Butte, Colorado!

Lucky us--she keeps The Chronicle of Wasted Time!

1-800-552-0164. Have you been getting incessant automated calls from the same source at a rate of about two per day? I have.

I'm angry at Worldzen, or whatever company it is that's been calling me up at all hours and putting on a recording telling me to call 1-800-552-0164. It might not be a "solicitation call," as the recording states, but it is harassment. Whether the culprit is outsourcing company Keane Worldzen (most likely) or the World Zen Fellowship or some other racket, the tactic is relentless and annoying and invasive--just like getting prank phone calls.

I'm not the only one to get this treatment. It also happened to Sandra Thompson of the St. Petersburg Times last year. In her case, the phone number was 1-800-401-6070.

If you've also been harassed by these jerks, feel free to register your complaints and suggested solutions here.

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE! Who says Oklahoma is kink-free? The state just became part of a sixth-place fourteensome due to James Watts's victory in Cartoon Caption Contest #44 (military squad with mime):

"It's not good--looks like they've got a full interpretive-dance troupe."

In Caption Contest #46 (no-clothes people on dais at stockholders meeting), there's a nominee by Brendan Hasenstab of Brooklyn--

"First, I'd like to thank the podium."

--but there's also a promising one from Jon Lyons of Wisconsin:

"If all goes well, we'll get them back after the audit."

How do those compare with my submission?

"Sometimes it's good to have something to hide."

As always, you can be the judge!

Over at Anti-Caption Contest #47 (two men talk at desk while a small lynch mob seems to be chasing a tie-wearing man down a corridor), the winner is simsburybear with

"No! He's being strangled by his own necktie and those men are trying to help him! Jesus, you're negative and morbid and possibly psycho."

My loser was

"Assume the position to get the position. It's that simple!"

I'd like to give special recognition to frequent winner Tim C. for coming up with this very clever anti-caption:

"Here at Chase Manhattan, we like to think of our company's name as an imperative."

Excellent!

In other caption news, I noticed for the first time in months that, for a spell, there was no caption contest link on the main page of the website for The New Yorker.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

POSTSECRET. Pssst! Here's the latest. And heads up: PostSecret is coming to Columbus Circle on May 3, 2006!

PUZZLE TIME. Activate the puzzle by running your cursor over it. Enjoy--it's fairly easy to solve!



Photo: Courtesy of Rockefeller Center Archives
Puzzle: flash-gear.com

WELCOME TO THE READING ROOM

THOSE PACIFIST GRANNIES. Says their lawyer, Norman Siegel: "The grannies remind me of the whole 'We Shall Overcome' movement. They're very positive and upbeat and warm." And arrested. Kristen Lombardi of The Village Voice offered pre-trial coverage of the anti-war grannies. Here's initial coverage of the trial from Reuters.

WHO'S REALLY AT GITMO. 8% Al Qaeda fighters. 55% not determined to have committed any hostile acts against coalition forces, according to Nat Hentoff in The Village Voice.

DC STILL DOESN'T HAVE THE VOTE. But those license plates keep on coming. If the United States can spend billions to build possibly unfriendly "democracies" in the Middle East, why not let DC have voting representatives in Congress? It seems that the more that Americans realize the injustice of it all, the more they're in favor of reform.

THEIR OLD SCHOOL. Can you believe Steely Dan's Donald Fagen went to school with Chevy Chase and Blythe Danner (who dated Chase) as well as his musical partner Walter Becker? Fagen went back to his old school Bard with Rob Brunner in Entertainment Weekly (March 24, 2006). In the following issue, Jennifer Armstrong profiled Danner. I think the magazine might eventually cover that guy down the hallway who always wore a fur cap.

THE DORRIAN DYNASTY. The Village Voice's Sarah Ferguson digs up Dorrian dirt. I didn't know that Jack Dorrian courted controversy "put his family's East Side townhouse up as collateral on $150,000 bail for Robert Chambers."

WIKIPEDIA VS. ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITTANICA. Brittanica strikes back!

Photo: David Marc Fischer

TONIGHT ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Susan's diagnostic tests look normal but she's still sure something is wrong. That "bowling alley sound" from upstairs keeps Janine tossing and turning for hours. Hilton resents the fact that the recycling drop-off point is never in her neighborhood. Betsy wishes her husband would stop jabbering about threesomes, threesomes, threesomes!

Photo: David Marc Fischer

THREESOME. Not that I'm an expert on the subject, but don't you think threesomes are publicity hogs? I mean, how often do you hear about sevensomes and elevensomes? Anyway...after Gothamist offered a link to some surprisingly sweet threesome photos, I figured I'd offer perspectives from this trio:

Rachel Kramer Bussel

Dr. Ruth

The Libertine

Photo: David Marc Fischer

THE BEST HOPE FOR PEACE IN DARFUR. So maybe you didn't make it to this week's panel discussion on Darfur featuring Pulitzer Prize-winner Nicholas Kristof. Don't despair: You can still hear a crisp audio file of the event courtesy of New York Sound Posse!

The duration of the recording is 1:52 but, if and only if you're really busy, you have my permission to shave off the first 13 minutes, which mainly consist of introductions. Also take note that the Q&A (around the 1:20 mark) is good.

Some of the suggestions:

Pressure the U.S. government.
Pressure China.
Pressure Egypt.
Create a peace envoy.
Establish a no-fly zone.
The solution should be multilateral.
Make it clear that criminals will be held accountable.
Support United Nations involvement.

There will be a demonstration in Washington, DC on April 30, 2006.

You can send a virtual postcard to President Bush--who, perhaps surprisingly, came off pretty well at the Darfur panel except where multilateralism was concerned--via A Million Voices for Darfur or the White House. You can contact other United States political leaders via FirstGov.gov.

Thanks to Human Rights First for encouraging coverage of this. Previous coverage is here.

Image Source

WHERE WAS I? My location has been ascertained to my satisfaction! Congrats to Gary on his very first victory. Look out, Dolph!

The current standings:

9 Debbie
6 David
3 Scott
2 Dolph
1 Gary
1 Myron
1 Trapezia

Gary gets to choose a Where Was I? format.

HANDLE WITH CARE!


Source

WHERE WAS I? Come see the new visual clue!

REMEMBERING ELK CANDY. There's more marzipan mourning at Chowhound and Prepare to Meet Your Bakerina.

Previous coverage here.

"SILLY BITCH" UNWELCOME IN LOS ANGELES? Over here it seemed that Jared Paul Stern's Gawker stint was an obnoxious embarrassment. But that's not how Ellen Barry made it look at the Los Angeles Times.

Barry wrote:

On the website Gawker, which he guest-edited over the weekend, Stern launched a cavalcade of gleeful attacks on Burkle, whom he termed a "fishy financier," a "puffy potentate" and a "rubbery robber baron."

Hmm. Over here, Stern's "gleeful cavalcade" seemed to be a pathetic and ineffectual outburst of name-calling and regurgitated innuendo during which he also stooped to tamper with reader comments.

Barry also wrote:

Sometime before lunch, he posted a photograph of Estella Warren, an actress who had told a reporter for the New York Times that Burkle "is a good guy and he is not being portrayed as the guy he really is." In the photograph, she is topless, her breasts covered only with strands of hair.

Actually, in the photo, Warren's breasts are covered by her hands, not "only with strands of hair."

Barry continued to misrepresent Stern's post:

"We were amused to see this comment," he wrote. "[She] seems to have forgotten that I put her on the map via Page Six back when Paolo Zampolli first brought her over from a pig farm in Peterborough, Ontario."

As you might recall, the "gleeful" Stern actually wrote, "The silly bitch seems to have forgotten that I put her on the map...." [Emphasis added.]

I suppose readers of the Los Angeles Times have such delicate sensibilities that they must be protected from such "gleeful" phrases as "The silly bitch." But substituting "She" for "The silly bitch" without making more of an effort to capture Stern's tone could be interpreted as misleading.

OH YEAH... The word is that Stern and three other freelancers aren't going to have lunch on Page Six again.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

SMALLEST, COOLEST! I became aware of the 2nd annual smallest, coolest apartment contest 2006 while visiting What To Wear This Very Second for follow-ups on the Fashion Based Constitutional Law Analogy Contest,

Among the smallest, coolest finalists (smaller and smaller):

Jane & Darko's Cozy Thicket (645 sq. ft., East Village)

James & Margaret's Iconic Studio (565 sq. ft., New York)

Gideon and Tracey's Pocket Knife (530 sq. ft., Jersey City)

Hakarl and Jili's Bold Bright Moves (450 sq. ft., Brooklyn)

Jenny & Clove's LAish Pad (442 sq. ft. studio, Astor Place)

Christine's Airy Park View (440 sq. ft., Park Slope)

Lucy's Love Shack (371 sq. ft., Upper West Side)

Rob's Acid Trip Modern (260 sq. ft., Park Slope)

Don't miss the "kennel" in Lucy's Love Shack!

Photo: David Marc Fischer

WHERE WAS I? Leave your guesses in the comments section. Enjoy!




















VISUAL CLUE ADDED APRIL 21




















BONUS PHOTO ADDED APRIL 22




















Photos: David Marc Fischer

420 at 4:20 on 4/20. Here's Quizlaw with three items, including one about medical marijuana in California.

And here's some high comedy!



Source

CHUCK EDDY UPDATE. Gawker just posted a dignified farewell letter by dismissed Village Voice editor Chuck Eddy, who writes that he was "terminated for reasons of taste." Eddy, praised effusively by Robert Christgau, is now officially looking for work.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

A SIMPLE PLAN. Gabriel Sherman at the New York Observer writes that Chuck Eddy is the 17th employee to leave the Voice since it was taken over by New Times/"Village Voice" Media in November.

Who is Chuck Eddy? Sherman offers this:

"There have been many good music editors, but Chuck Eddy was the most efficient, most professional I worked with," said Voice senior editor and rock critic Robert Christgau on April 18. "He was fabulous to work with. He was the only editor who got his sections in not on time, but ahead of time. He was so easy to work with. He was great."

Eddy had signed the petition protesting the recent dismissal of James Ridgeway.

Sherman also reports that online managing editor Nathan Deuel and Web manager Akash Goyal are among the paper's recent departures.

Sherman's column identifies Michael Lacey as the person responsible for many of the changes at the Voice, which include getting rid of The Essay, the Bush Beat blog, and the Shelter, Press Clips, and Mondo Washington columns. Sherman's sources tell him of drastic cuts in the film review budget, lay-offs of two out of five copy editors, and the elimination of the three-person fact-checking staff.

In a telephone interview with Sherman, Lacey claimed that the changes are designed to create space for more magazine-style reported pieces and says that there is no place for commentary in the Voice.

"We have a reputation for doing hard news," said Lacey of his newspaper chain. "We call people up and get the information. We dig the records up. If people aren’t comfortable with that, they’ll have to find employment elsewhere."

It's really "so simple," according to Lacey: "It’s almost like reading See Dick Run. Our job is to go out and get the information about how the deal went down. All the punditry that goes on in your head at 2 in the morning is no more valuable than a sophomore in college debating over espresso. The deal is always more interesting and more complicated than you know sitting at your typewriter. Once you go out and start talking to people, you get a lot of new information."

Lacey's words about doing more reporting than punditry don't ring true to me in light of the fact-checking cuts. Fact checkers are an important part of the reporting process, yet they seem to have vanished under his aegis.

Furthermore, it's not clear whether Lacey can do anything but create a brain drain at the Voice. Months after his arrival, the paper has no permanent editor-in-chief. The cuts have been radical, but one would be hard-pressed to see any improvements, let alone evidence of the direction change Lacey claims to seek.

And the "wisdom" of that direction change is dubious. Lacey, who resides in Phoenix, Arizona, may be out of touch with the New York metropolitan market. At a time when national security issues have never been more relevant to the city, Lacey eliminated Ridgeway's Mondo Washington. Lacey claims to be moving the weekly Voice away from its distinctive mix of reporting towards a local reporting niche, but it's hard to see the wisdom of such a move when one considers how the city's ultra-competitive media market is already dense with well-staffed websites and broadcast news and daily periodicals as well as weeklies.

So far, the evidence suggests that Lacey's stated goals might not be his actual goals. "[Mr. Lacey] wants to cut the budget and fatten profits,” former Voice editor Karen Durbin told Sherman. Right now it does seem that "simple."

The more that quality staff drains away from the Voice, the more other media outlets and media entrepreneurs can use the brain drain to their advantage.

Here's Lisa Chamberlain's blog Polis on the subject. And here's more of the charming New Times/"Village Voice" Media point of view, from Robert Ferrigno. Both links courtesy of Romanesko.


BONUS: KEN "KARNAK" AULETTA

Sherman's article quotes media expert Ken Auletta:

"The original Voice was an iconoclastic newspaper,” said New Yorker media critic Ken Auletta, who covered city politics for The Voice in the early 70’s. "Increasingly, the paper became predictable. You would pick up a headline and know what’s in a story. Despite the fact it’s now free, you’d walk by it and not read it because you’d know what’s in it. I suppose I’m being unfair because I wasn’t reading it that often. And maybe I missed it, but there were few surprises."

Auletta's absolutely right: He's being unfair.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

KITTENWAR! Exercise your right to vote (for the cutest kitten) at Kittenwar! May The Cutest Kitten Win! At the moment Betty and Opie are in the lead. But look at the sorry losers!

Thanks to Publisher's Lunch, I can tell you to expect a book at some point in the future.

FREE SCREENING OFFER: CLEAN. The New York Observer and Palm Pictures are offering passes to a screening of an Olivier Assayas movie starring Maggie Cheung and Nick Nolte:

Clean
Monday, April 24, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Cinema Village
22 East 12th Street, between University Place & 5th Avenue

Go here for more info.

WAITING WEEKLY. Today we offer a three-course meal:

First Course
Bell Bottomed Karma

Second Course
The Waiter Rule

Third Course
Missing Each Other

Afterwards, please enjoy these complimentary shots from your waitress.

HAPPY "10,000 GIGS!"
























Photo: David Marc Fischer

LIFE IS NOT THAT BAD AT HAGEWINKEL!! It doesn't take much to amuse me. Usually upper-case letters and exclamation marks will do. For example, I just got a big laugh reading an email reproduced at Wonkette. On the surface, it reflects a conflict at a place called Am Hagewinkel, but deep down it's about things so universal we can all understand them: the jungle gym, the cute puppies, the skateboarding husband.

Plus, there's this: "I am not sure if you lived in either Palm Beach, Beverly Hills, Long Island, Scottsdale, or any of the other extremely upscale communities in the United States." Long Island?

Anyway, when life gets you down, just remember: There is life outside of Hagewinkel.

BECAUSE THERE IS!!!

WHERE WAS I? My location has been ascertained to my satisfaction! Congrats to Debbie, who, like the state of California in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest, leads with nine wins!

The current standings:

9 Debbie
6 David
3 Scott
2 Dolph
1 Myron
1 Trapezia

Debbie gets to choose a Where Was I? format.

716 UPDATE. Here is Episode 36: "Meat Trafficking."

Photo: David Marc Fischer

WHERE WAS I? Because I'm a nice guy who wants you to find out, I've posted another visual clue. Go to it!

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE! You know how they say that everyone in LA has a screenplay? I think everyone in California has a winning caption. Just give 'em some time....

For instance, the winner of Contest #43 (dog and clown in court) is John Sonntag of Pacific Palisades, California, with

"How many surprise witnesses do you have in that little car?"

So now California has 9 wins in the state competition, with Pennsylvania trailing by four.

The nominees for Contest #45 (couple in hall surrounded by gravity-defying toddlers) don't include any California entries, but there is a good one from Thomas Buell, Jr. of Pennsylvania:

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

My loser:

"They warned me that the walls have ears, but I didn't expect this."

A knee-slapper, right?

Over at Anti-Caption Contest #46 (naked people on dais at stockholders meeting), Tim C. took top honors for the second consecutive week with

"Excellent question. The chairs are vinyl, and can be cleaned with a damp sponge. Now, does anyone have any questions NOT about the nudity?"

My losers were

"Last night we went to a strip club."

"Welcome to the next phase in our Campaign for Real Beauty!"

"Our new credo is, 'If you can't find shoes, you must go nude.' So please find us shoes. Or turn off the air conditioning."

"Pardon my shlurred shpeech--The Johnshons are feeding my clothing and I got free drinksh for keeping my tray down. Hic!"

"I'm sure that many of you will be pleased to hear that, though we are still rich in assets, we are finally willing to discuss downsizing."

Here are Caption Contest #47 and Anti-Caption Contest #47.

Incidentally, if you go to the New Yorker contest page fast, you'll see that, although the links have been updated, the corresponding content is still a week old.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

FREE SCREENING OPPORTUNITY: THE SENTINEL. The New York Observer and 20th Century Fox are offering passes to the following screening:

The Sentinel
Thursday, April 20, 2006 at 8:30 pm
AMC Empire 25
234 West 42nd Street, between 7th and 8th Avenues

Go here for more info.

GOSSIP GONE WILD! Pardon the stench and the muck. This weekend I spent way too much time at Gawker, where a seemingly crazed gossip peddler took control for two days, ball bearings in hand.

Let's quickly review the background: Word has it that Jared Paul Stern, while a freelance reporter for Page Six, was open to tilting coverage of high-flying moneybags Ron Burkle in exchange for $100,000 down and $10,000 per month--much, much higher than what Blog About Town had been charging! Note that Stern is also diversified: He's got a clothing operation, Skulls & Bones by Jared Paul Stern, that's "dedicated to making high-quality clothing with an edgy, prep sensibility for men and women."

Getting back to that money business with Burkle: You might leap to the conclusion that Stern thought Burkle was up to some sort of hanky-panky that was worth that much in silence and his "journalistic integrity." But gossip-clothier Stern only admits to making a simple mistake: "My error in judgment was combining discussions about an investment in my clothing company with one about advising him on media coverage, especially in such a way that it could be twisted out of all proportion by the slimeball, billionaire lapdogs at the Daily News," he told Gawker in a post dated April 13.

In the same Gawker item, Stern was asked why he wasn't following legal advice to maintain silence. His response: "If I’ve I learned anything in this, it’s that if you’ve been falsely accused the best thing to do is speak up and defend yourself. And if you’re a lowly freelance writer squaring off against a powerful, politically-connected billionaire, no-one else is going to tell your side of the story." [sic]

The next day, Gawker posted this announcement:

In a stroke of questionable genius from our otherwise-adorable management, disgraced Page Six staffer Jared Paul Stern will be guest-editing Gawker this weekend. Why? We don’t know — those answers exist somewhere high above our pay grade. Nevertheless, far be it from us to punch in on a weekend to keep Jared away from the controls, so we suppose he’ll be in charge of things until Monday. Do stop by and get your dose of Level Three protection.

Perhaps Gawker publisher Nick Denton expected Stern to follow through on his publicly stated intentions by squaring off and telling his side of the story over the weekend. But there wasn't much of that, aside from Stern's link to a April 12 Phoenix story ("Sleazy? Yes. Criminal? Probably Not.") that questions whether Stern could technically be accused of the crime of extortion. Stern didn't even link to this April 12 interview with Howard Gensler, in which the gossip did limn out a case that he was framed.

No, Stern didn't use his Weekend at Denton's to clarify what he ought to know best: his own side of the story. Instead, he used his bully pulpit for braying and, well, bullying. And bitching. Case in point: He devoted an entire post to some model-actress named Estella Warren, who committed the horrific crimes of "expressing disappointment that many of her friends were portrayed inaccurately on Page Six" and voicing the opinion that Burkle is "a good guy and he is not being portrayed as the guy he really is."

Stern's response to Warren's remarks wasn't to defend Page Six's accuracy or present evidence that Burkle is not a good guy. Instead he wrote, "The silly bitch seems to have forgotten that I put her on the map via Page Six back when Paolo Zampolli first brought her over from a pig farm in Peterborough, Ontario." It's as if Stern thinks the former farmgirl owes him for his Page Six coverage!

My impression is that Stern has been so immersed in the sleaze trade for so long that he might have lost his grip on any measure of conduct other than quid pro quo. Besides bitching about Warren, he actually devoted much of his two days to regurgitating insinuations about Burkle. That's right: Stern, who didn't get those big Burkle bucks, just spent the weekend trying to raise suspicions about the billionaire being involved in some sort of hanky-panky!

I haven't paid much attention to either Burkle or Stern, but it seems that Stern's Gawker items don't even amount to anything more than the same old slop: Burkle is wealthy and powerful, he might have tried to influence press coverage, he might have a jones for young models, and he's "linked" to the Clintons, Michael Jackson, and other celebs and power brokers. That's nothing new...and not much in terms of news. (I might as well note that Burkle is also "linked" to Stern, but Stern didn't seem to think that worth even a blind item like "Which gossip-cum-fashionisto did business with a tycoon until rates nearly rocketed through the roof?")

Adding to the sorry spectacle were many of the comments at Gawker (though Emily of emdashes deserves credit for rising out of her Elk Candy grief to offer punctuation tips). Anonymous and readily identifiable posters didn't stop at merely criticizing Stern; they also dredged up gossip about his past and even his gal Snoodles's past--often using taunts associated with homophobia. Stern seems to have responded like a Web novice, suggesting that he knew who those posters really were, and also deleting and rewriting comments. Bad, bad Jared!

So Stern belly-flopped big during his stint at Gawker while Denton watched. Comments are calling for Denton and his Gawker editors Jessica Coen and Jesse Oxfeld to disclose exactly what went on at the website during Stern's tenure. I'd like to see them do just that. So far this Letter From the Editors has been posted:

Ahem. Well. That was interesting. Good news, though: It’s over. Mommy and daddy are back now, kiddies, and everything will be all right. Comments won’t be deleted or edited anymore. (In fact, we’ll leave them entirely alone, like we always do — and, don’t worry, JPS’s habitual mendacity notwithstanding, they’re as anonymous as ever.) We’ll talk about things other than Ron Burkle. And we’ll always remember that, whatever else happened in their interaction, and however scummy Burkle may or may not otherwise be, Jared Paul Stern is nevertheless on tape demanding the man pay him off to the tune of $100,000 up front and an additional $10,000 per month. So relax and enjoy the new good old days.

Or, at least, relax and enjoy them until next weekend, when we hear publisher Nick plans to bring in Darryl Littlejohn to explain how it was actually all Imette’s fault.

(And, please, comment away on this one. Comment like the wind. Frolic in the comments. Nuestro comments es su comments.)

Photo: David Marc Fischer

POSTSECRET. Pssst! Here's the latest. And Liz Hollander? We think we know what happened to your wallet....

WHERE WAS I? Impressive guesses (and a new visual clue) can be found here.

PUZZLE TIME! Here's a puzzle. Move your cursor over the field to activate it. Enjoy!



Puzzle: flash-gear.com
Photo: David Marc Fischer

TONIGHT ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Cathy has to spend an extra day in rehab. Jennifer refuses to accept her son's death. Eliza can't bring herself to post another blog entry. Mary Ann wishes she could advance the calendar by a month so that she and her family could move out of their apartment already!

Photo: David Marc Fischer

HOW TO ENJOY A STAY IN THE CITY. Sometimes there's no need to shop or sightsee or even consult a guidebook (or its online equivalent). For example, even heavily censored, this looks like a dream stay (for het "honeymooner" exhibitionists, at least) at the Rivington. Personally, I think the cigarette action is more bothersome than what I imagine behind the black geometric shapes...but I guess that's just crazy old me!

The band is Levy.

Thanks to Gothamist for the lead.



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ELK CANDY CLOSED? Fox 5 News just reported the closing of the Elk Candy Company, the Upper East Side shop known for its exceptional marzipan. The candymaker already survived at least one move--I hope it will survive this one!

Erin S. of Erin's Kitchen just blogged about the place on Thursday!

WHERE WAS I? The guessing is progressing here.

SUDANARAMA! What is the best way to end the genocide in Sudan?

A few weeks ago, I was heartened to learn that the University of California Board of Regents had voted to divest from Sudan.

Soon after that, I noticed the obnoxious ad supplement promoting Sudan that appeared in The New York Times. The empty commercial propaganda reminded me of a similar ad supplement that vainly tried to prettify apartheid-era South Africa in the early 1980s, when divestment was brought to bear on its racist regime.

According to SudanDivestment.Com, three states have already divested from Sudan: New Jersey, Illinois, and Oregon. New York is among twelve states where divestment legislation has also been introduced.

So is divestment a valid strategy for bringing about positive change in Sudan? Should there be a peace envoy for Sudan such as George Mitchell, as Human Rights First suggests? Should you sign this Human Rights First petition? How about sending a simple epostcard to President Bush, to remind him to live up to his words on Darfur? And what about attending the Rally to Stop Genocide in Washington DC on April 30, 2006?

Perhaps answers can be found on Wednesday, April 19 at 7 at the free panel discussion on The Best Hope for Peace in Darfur to be held at The New York Society for Ethical Culture. Nicholas Kristof is one of the scheduled speakers. Get there early to ensure admission!

Here's Nat Hentoff on the April 30 demonstration. Here's Hentoff on the banality of evil in Sudan.

And here's a public service announcement featuring Don Cheadle and Paul Rusesabagina. Get the picture!



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COSMIC VISIONS. M81 or M82? Which candidate do you prefer--the blue or the red?

Striking celestial sights can be seen via Astronomy Picture of the Day.

MOLLY THE CAT: FOUND! Okay...you can all sleep easily now, according to Fox News.

WHERE WAS I? Guess away, using the comments feature!




















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BONUS PICTURE ADDED APRIL 18




















Photos: David Marc Fischer

SPRING BREAK FOR LONG ISLANDERS. I hope it's not too late to note that last month Gawker linked to a choice piece of video from Long Island in the 1990s. It's perhaps best appreciated by those who've spent time in the vicinity of Massapequa, "The City of Homes." You know...like Jerry Seinfeld, Jessica Hahn, and, yes, Joey Buttafuoco.

BRAIN DRAIN AT THE VOICE. Before becoming almost entirely obsessed by the Payola Six scandal, Gawker noted that respected Village Voice reporter Jennifer Gonnerman (who had signed that petition protesting James Ridgeway's dismissal) is gone from the paper, too. So besides Doug Simmons and Nick Sylvester, the Voice is now devoid of Gonnerman, Ridgeway, and Sydney Schanberg. Word continues to spread that the fact checkers are gone, too.

This brain drain at the Voice was the subject of an episode of Amy Goodman's Democracy Now that aired overnight. Goodman spoke with Schanberg and Ridgeway as well as Nat Hentoff, Tom Robbins, Mark Jacobson, and Tim Redmond.

Some highlights:

Hentoff on Ridgeway: "I don't know another reporter we've had at the Voice who is so widely knowledgeable about so many areas of government and all kinds of important areas and who does such consistent, comprehensive research. And for him to get fired is inexplicable. It makes no sense at all." Also: "I do believe that whatever the future holds, to lose Jim Ridgeway is an enormous loss for the paper."

Ridgeway on his current situation: "If I didn't have union protection, I would be nowhere."

Ridgeway on Mike Lacey: "He killed my column..."

Schanberg on a Voice staff meeting with Lacey in February:

"What happened was very sad. Mr. Lacey came in and very quickly told the staff that he was disappointed and appalled by the fact that the front of the book was all commentary and that he wanted hard news. He said if he wanted to read a daily or regular critiques of the Bush administration, he would read the New York Times, and that's not what he wanted in the Village Voice. He was insulting to the staff. He figuratively or in effect called them stenographers. He said they had to stop being stenographers. When I objected to that, because that was so insulting, and I said that you can criticize any news staff in some ways, but the one thing that you couldn't call the Village Voice staff was a staff of stenographers, taking notes from public figures and just passing them on.

"And I said it was unfair, and he said, 'So, I’m unfair.' And then he added, he said, 'Look, I don't care what rouses you, even if it's getting pissed off at me.' And I said, 'I’m not pissed off at you. I don't even know you.' And he really had this huge one-ton or two-ton chip on his shoulder. And I think he walked into the room thinking that the people in the room didn't welcome him and didn't like him and, you know, and hated him. And he was totally insecure. And he gave the impression that he didn't understand the Voice and he didn't understand New York, and he didn't want to. He didn't like it, even though he was born here, I understand. I mean, he was born in Brooklyn.

"And he said a lot of other things. He told the staff that they better prepare themselves to say goodbye to some of their friends. He picked a fight with Nat Hentoff, which was disgusting."

"Oh, he said, when he picked that fight with Nat, he was referring specifically to a story in which Nat had led off one of his pieces praising an ABC television investigative report. And Lacey said that was unforgivable and that wasn't good journalism, and that he in the future never wanted to see ever again a story in the Voice that referred to work done by another publication or media organization, which is kind of astounding."

Jacobson on Ridgeway and the Voice: "Ridgeway is not the kind of guy you would want to fire. The Village Voice doesn't need deletion. It needs addition, because there's nothing in there really. You need more stuff, not less stuff."

Schanberg on the fact checkers: "As I understand it, Lacey has dismissed all of the fact checkers."

Schanberg on Lacey and Ridgeway and journalistic sin: "I just think it's a sin to do certain things in journalism. I think, for example, that firing Jim Ridgeway is a journalistic sin, just as when the New York Times let Russell Baker go. You don't do things like that, just because somebody is older or whatever, you personally don't like their stuff, because the idea of a newspaper is to let all voices ring, let them all be heard. And that's not what he's saying. So I don't have any -- you know, I don't have any -- I don't know this man, Mike Lacey. But I don't have any respect for how he's behaved or how he's conducted himself at the Voice."

Ridgeway on things to come: "I think the web is the future of the alternative press, to tell you the truth."

There's certainly an increase in journalists available to make that future a reality, thanks in part to Lacey.

Amy Goodman is scheduled to speak after David Hare's Stuff Happens at the Public Theater on Tuesday, April 18, 2006.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

RICE KRISPIE COMMERCIAL FACEOFF. Which do you prefer?

The jazz trio?



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The Rolling Stones?



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BLOGORHYTHMS. "A vast collection of Poblano Pepper recipes" can be found at Chipotle Recipes...from Canada!

SUPERHERO STYLE. Entertainment Weekly has a quiz challenging readers to identify superheroes by their style (more or less). It's super-suitable for folks of all ages. Enjoy!

LOS BIG NAMES. I recently saw Marga Gomez's Los Big Names at The Puerto Rican Traveling Theater. It's an entertaining one-woman show in which Gomez remembers family life with her entertainer parents Willy Chevalier and Margarita.

As some of you might know, I sometimes have strange opinions when it comes to judging resemblances, but don't you agree that Gomez (pictured) resembles a Marianne Petit character? Even their work seems to have much in common. Gomez's anecdotal life story covers her childhood (like When I Was Three, though not as lighthearted) as well as some of her adult experiences (like 716).

Do you see where I'm going with this? That's right: I suspect the two might make a great creative pairing.

Discounts for Los Big Names can be found through Playbill and perhaps other sources (including TKTS).

Photo: Pat Johnson

WAITING WEEKLY. After Closing, enjoy these complimentary shots from your waitress.

1986 WORLD SERIES GAME 6 RECREATED! I guess I can't get enough of the Mets and reenactments at the moment. Like Debbie and David and Scott and Dolph and Myron and Trapezia, they're hot, hot, hot!

Here's something that combines the two: a computer simulation of the penultimate game of the 1986 World Series between the Mets and Red Sox from San Diego Serenade (of all places).

It's not perfect--for instance, there's something of a skin tone issue and (for another instance) I'm pretty sure the balls don't always go where they're supposed to go--but it's still an incredible simulation!

The duration is nearly 9 minutes. Thanks to Gothamist for the lead.

FOLK SONGS OF THE FAR RIGHT WING. Wonkette reports that Dick Cheney was roundly booed when he threw the ceremonial opening pitch at the Nationals-Mets game today. I guess it's too much to expect the moment to be memorialized in song like so many other Bush-Cheney escapades (click below). Oh--and the game's over: 7-1 Mets!



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A REAL-LIFE GODFATHER SAGA. Italian mob boss Bernardo Provenzano has finally been caught after eluding authorities for more than forty years, according to this Time report. If you've seen The Godfather, just reading the four paragraph story should evoke tons of images and atmosphere.

AP coverage, via Guardian Unlimited, suggests that Provenzano's prostate was his undoing.

716 UPDATE...PLUS! Here is Episode 35: "Thar She Blows (After the Fire...)."

Plus, Marianne Petit has posted a new video: "Past All the Stars." The song is by Marykate O'neil.

Photo: David Marc Fischer

BLOGORHYTHMS. There sure are a lot of "knitter blogs" out there. But they're not just about knitting. They're also about...life. And pets. And plants. And relatives. And whatnot.

Kim of Ohio offers Random Fiber Ramblings "and other assorted hooey."

At Knit Free Or Die, Valerie devotes herself to "One woman's adventures in learning to knit and cultivating an (un)healthy fiber addiction."

In contrast, Lucky Penny's Workshop recounts "The adventures of a knit designer, her man, and her dog. We're trying to grow a business, and write a book!"

At Yarn Botanika Lisa obsesses over "yarn, fiber, color, spinning and art."

And Laurakeet invites you to "Join my kitties, my knitties, and me on our wild yarny adventures!" at Beautiful Plumage.

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE! It's no surprise that this week's winning New Yorker caption comes from New York. As you might recall, all three candidates came from the Empire State, ensuring that the land of George "Pay Up" Pataki would emerge from a three-way tie with a fourth win, securing third place behind leaders California (eight) and Pennsylvania (five).

What's noteworthy is that the Contest #42 winner (man at desk seated in electric chair), is by Richard Nathanson of New York City:

"Cancel my twelve-oh-one."

With that, the Big Apple continues to carry New York State as the source of all of its New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winners.

New York will not gain any ground in Contest #44 (troops with mime in what might be wartorn Iraq), as the candidates hail from New Jersey, Oklahoma, and Washington, DC. I'm leaning toward DC's candidate, by Mark Chalfant:

"O.K., send him in. But this goes against the Geneva conventions."

I know you're just dying to compare that with my losing submission, so here you go:

"I never thought searching for comedy could be this hard."

I think mine might be more clever than you think. Whatever.

Over at Dan Radosh's Anti-Caption Contest #45 (Gahan Wilson's couple in hallway with gravity-defying toddlers), Dan Radosh recognized a whopping nine anti-captions, singling out

"I think you'll find Professor Xavier's Vocational Academy for Moderately Intelligent Mutants to be both fascinating and yet oddly depressing."

by Tim C. as the winner.

My losers were pretty sucky but clearly not sucky enough:

"No matter what you see here, don't loose your sense of perspective." [sic]

"That's right: $100,000 down, then $10,000 per month to keep you off Page Six. And no one will know except the two of us!"

Here are Caption Contest #46 and Anti-Caption Contest #46.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

POSTSECRET. Pssst! Here's the latest.

THAT GHOST WORLD ROUTINE. The movie Ghost World (highly recommended) opens with "Jan Pehechaan Ho," a great number from the Agatha Christie-inspired Bollywood movie Gumnaam (1965).

The quality of the YouTube uploads I checked isn't great, but here's a serviceable one. It would much better if the frenetic action and the glowing facial expressions weren't so blurry--but at least you can hear the music and, um, get the picture!

Thanks to Brian "Bri-Guy" Ferrari of MNN's Media Surf for the inspiration.



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