Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Continues!

Bring out the ticker tape! New York has retaken the lead in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. The last time New York owned the first-place position was April '05—Caption Contest 1!

So, yes, the winner of Caption Contest 195 (Danny Shanahan's housewife confronting haloed man with stigmata and tiny cherubim in doorway) is

"Which part of 'till death do us part' didn't you understand?"
Caroline Johnston Polisi (New York, NY)

Huzzah, Caroline!


The nominees in Caption Contest 197 (Drew Dernavich's airplane with high heel landing gear) are

"She thinks her bomb bay makes her look fat."
Eric Schares (Portland, OR)

"It's a pretty good aircraft, except that it keeps nagging you to ask for directions."
Adam Pfeffer (Boca Raton, FL)

"She's a lover, not a fighter."
Robert McLean (Tampa, FL)

My loser:

"They're stylish but not very functional."

The Radosh.net Anti-Caption contest goes on under the jurisdiction of guest blogger Harry Effron. The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 198 (P.C. Vey's bound-and-gagged man atop moving car) is

"I think the guy on the roof farted."
The Confidence Man

My loser:

"He's Michael Jackson's doctor. Okay, switch lanes now."

Caption Contest 199 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 199 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

33 New York (28 from the Big Apple, where Lynn Tudor has won twice)

32 California

14 New Jersey

12 Virginia (six from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

10 Illinois (eight from Chicago including three captions by Lawrence Wood)

9 Massachusetts

7 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 Pennsylvania
6 Texas (three from Houston, one from Austin)

5 Maryland (none named Mary)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 Nevada (Las Vegas 1, Zephyr Cove 1)
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Maine
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Continues!

O Canada! I think that, somewhere along the line, someone must have changed a Caption Contest rule, resulting in the very first Canadian Caption Contest candidate!

You see, the nominees in Caption Contest 196 (Phil Noth's lab workers observing lab rodents in lab suits) are

"O.K., let's slowly lower in the grant money."
Todd Bearson (Arlington, MA)

"Relax, for them it's publish and perish."
David Burns (Needham, MA)

"The research is conclusive—mice are even cuter when you dress them up in little coats."
Brad Hodges (Dungannon, Ontario!)

But sorry, Quebec—according to the new rules, "Any legal resident of United States or Canada (except residents of the province of Quebec) age eighteen or over can enter...."

This NAFTA-like development must be very recent, as the soon-to-disappear voting page for Caption Contest 195 (Danny Shanahan's housewife confronting disheveled man with stigmata flanked by tiny cherubim) still stipulates that "Any U.S. resident age eighteen or older can vote"—excluding the entirety of Canada!

As for my Caption Contest 196 loser—

"We've been using the Nobel Prize instead of cheese."

—that's pretty close to Bearson's. Do you think mine is significantly worse?


The winner of Caption Contest 194 (Leo Cullum's slick operator speaking to man in desert) is

"First, we discuss my percentage of any water you find, real or imagined."
Jeff Joseph (Melville, NY)

Borne out of the same terrain as Walt Whitman, this caption returns New York to a first-place tie with California.


The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 197 (Drew Dernavich's pilot on plane with spiked heel landing gear) is

"I'm gellin' alright. And by gellin' I mean dropping napalm on noncombatants."
therblig

My loser:

"I say, have you checked for brevibacteria?"

Caption Contest 198 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 198 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

32 California

32 New York (27 from the Big Apple, where Lynn Tudor has won twice)

14 New Jersey

12 Virginia (six from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

10 Illinois (eight from Chicago including three captions by Lawrence Wood)

9 Massachusetts

7 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 Pennsylvania
6 Texas (three from Houston, one from Austin)

5 Maryland (none named Mary)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 Nevada (Las Vegas 1, Zephyr Cove 1)
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Maine
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Continues!

The winner of Caption Contest 193 (Victoria Roberts's man and woman with attached marionette controls) is

"Free will is overrated."
Nahomi Harkavy (Greensboro, NC)

This enables North Carolina to claim the seventh-place position, with seven votes.


The nominees in Caption Contest 195 (Danny Shanahan's angry housewife confronting disheveled man with stigmata and cherubic escorts) are

"Don't give me that holier-than-thou attitude!"
Paul Greengross (Granada Hills, CA)

"Which part of 'till death do us part' didn't you understand?"
Caroline Johnston Polisi (New York, NY)

"I guess it really did kill you to call."
Dorran Dihle (Seattle, WA)

My loser:

"If this is supposed to be the second coming, I'll hold out for the third."

The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 196 (Paul Noth's lab men observing lab rodents that are wearing lab suits) is

"I love how they dress in their cute little lab coats and talk about their little experiments and go home and murder their fucking bitch wives in their sleep and carry their little clipboards and ..."
Joshua

My loser:

"...and these are the mice I trained to amputate my left arm. Make sure you get all this down."

Caption Contest 197 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 197 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

32 California

31 New York (27 from the Big Apple, where Lynn Tudor has won twice)

14 New Jersey

12 Virginia (six from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

10 Illinois (eight from Chicago including three captions by Lawrence Wood)

9 Massachusetts

7 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 Pennsylvania
6 Texas (three from Houston, one from Austin)

5 Maryland (none named Mary)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 Nevada (Las Vegas 1, Zephyr Cove 1)
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Maine
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Continues!

The winner of Caption Contest 186 (Danny Shanahan's Moses figure holding tablets with Asian inscription) is

"And Commandments Eleven to Twenty are the same as One to Ten, just with tofu instead of meat."
Douglas Cosby (Austin, TX)

With its sixth win, the Lone Star State advances into a four-way tie with Connecticut, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania.


The nominees in Caption Contest 188 (P.C. Vey's keyboardistwith aquarium in piano case) are:

"This song goes out to the one that got away."
Elisa Narsu (Basking Ridge, NJ)

"And every year they return to my piano to spawn and die."
Frank Bruno (Sacramento, CA)

"Any requests before I tell you about tonight's specials?"
Brian Shuman (New York, NY)

My loser:

"If you know the lyrics, just dive right in!"

Compares well, I think.


At the time of this post, Dan Radosh had still not announced the results of Anti-Caption Contest 188 (P.C. Vey's keyboardist with a piano case full of water and fish) or anything more recent.


Caption Contest 190 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 190 is here. And, mind you, the unusually funny drawing is by homeboy Robert Leighton!


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

31 California

30 New York (26 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

11 Virginia (five from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

9 Illinois (seven from Chicago, two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
9 Massachusetts

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
6 Pennsylvania
6 Texas (three from Houston, one from Austin)

5 Maryland (none named Mary)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 Nevada (Las Vegas 1, Zephyr Cove 1)
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

The winner of Caption Contest 184 (David Sipress's man walking into a bar with bodies outlined on the floor) is

"Beat it, buddy. We're out of chalk."
Paul Snare (University Place, WA)

That's the fourth win for Washington.


The nominees in Caption Contest 186 (Danny Shanahan's Biblical figure holding aloft tablets with Asian calligraphy) are:

"And for you goats—thou shalt not marry a dragon or an ox."
Jay Shuck (Minneapolis, MN)

"And Commandments Eleven to Twenty are the same as One to Ten, just with tofu instead of meat."
Douglas Cosby (Austin, TX)

"Read quickly. These are really heavy."
Brad Wilson (Mill Creek, WA)

My loser:

"I offer you the Zen Commandments!"

At the time of this post, Dan Radosh had not anointed the winner of Anti-Caption Contest 187 (Charles Barsotti's avenging angel confronting burglar).


Caption Contest 188 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 188 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

31 California

30 New York (26 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

11 Virginia (five from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

9 Illinois (seven from Chicago, two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
9 Massachusetts

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
6 Pennsylvania

5 Maryland (none named Mary)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio
4 Washington

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

Cartoon Caption/Anti-Caption Contest Coverage Continues

The winner of Caption Contest 183 (Tom Cheney's car crashing into bedroom) is

"Well, at least he made curfew."
Andrea Fidurko (Needham, MA)

So now Massachusetts is tied with Illinois, which also had a contender in this contest.


Front runners California and New York are among the nominees in Caption Contest 185 (Mick Stevens's naked man running out of water behind a fish):

"Now that I've met your family, I want you to meet mine."
Ben Russak (Carlsbad, CA)

"You're in trouble when we get to the bicycles."
John Kinde (Las Vegas, NV)

"Hi there! Can I interest you in some promotional material about intelligent design?"
Aaron Adler (New York, NY)

My loser:"Sure I'm all wet, but who's the fish out of water now?"


The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 186 (Danny Shanahan's Moses holding Asian tablets) is

"Hey, which one of you sons of bitches left this in front of my house? I specifically smeared my doorposts in blood so I would NOT receive menus!"
gary

My loser:

"Oy! Mein beck!! Mein beck!!! Vy didn't I hire someone to do this heffy lifting? Vat did I think I was, some veightlifter?"

Caption Contest 187 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 187 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all (almost) mapped out here.

31 California

30 New York (26 from the Big Apple)

13 New Jersey

11 Virginia (five from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville, one from Newport News, one from Roanoke, one from Stanardsville)

9 Illinois (seven from Chicago, two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)
9 Massachusetts

6 Connecticut (two from New Haven, four not)
6 North Carolina (two from Charlotte)
6 Pennsylvania

5 Maryland (none named Mary)
5 Texas (three from Houston)

4 Arizona (two from Tucson)
4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Ohio

3 Michigan
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 Rhode Island
3 Washington

2 Alaska
2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Arkansas
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Louisiana (New Orleans)
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Wisconsin

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Parodic The Gothamer illustration realized by Deborah Grumet from concept by David Marc Fischer

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

California's winning streak comes to an end with Caption Contest 133 (Danny Shanahan's impaled caveman socializing).

"So you're the guy who discovered friendly fire."
Mike Lingle (Dalton, GA)

There's no hope for California in Caption Contest 135 (P. C. Vey's guests with giant lit bomb):

"You said B.Y.O.B., right?"
Andrew Norman (Hinsdale, IL)

"It's great to see you, but we can only stay about fifteen seconds."
Stefan Martula (Houston, TX)

"Sorry we're late. Clearing customs was a nightmare."
Vikas Sharma (Washington, DC)

My loser:

"Do you have a pair of shears?"

In Anti-Caption Contest 136 (Drew Dernavich's office worker with vulture), the winner is

"Note to self: Hire the Buzzard salesman. He's really GOOD!"
Johnny V

My loser:

"Oficina de Fidel Castro. ¿Puedo ayudarle?"

Caption Contest 137 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 137 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

23 California

20 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

11 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

4 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 Texas (two from Houston)

3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio

2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

Wow! California breaks away from New York in Caption Contest 131 (Mick Stevens's rain of safes) with its second win in a row:

"And tomorrow there's a twenty-per-cent chance of anvils."
Richard Jones (Pasadena, CA)

Jones beat out New York's Jessie Birks and California's Blythe Million, both of whom lobbied for votes here.


In Caption Contest 133 (Danny Shanahan's impaled caveman art gallery), the contestants include yet another Californian but no New Yorker:

"I almost wore the same spear."
David Schermer (Chicago, IL)

"So how much of the story is autobiographical?"
Tim Bauer (San Francisco, CA)

"So you're the guy who discovered friendly fire."
Mike Lingle (Dalton, GA)

I don't recall my loser at this time. Sorry!

Here it is:

"You're more than just a model. You're a supermodel."

In Anti-Caption Contest 134 (Jack Ziegler's couple in bed wearing welder's suits), the winner is

"I really wish we had bought hazmat suits for the kids too. I miss them."
JohnnyB

My losers:

"Blast you, don’t hog the sheet!"

"Wake up, honeybuns. I’m ready for my Flashdance fantasy!"

"I’ve got to hand it to you, babe. After 70 years, your farts are still as infernally hot as a blast furnace! And now I’m in the mood for hot anal sex!"

Caption Contest 135 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 135 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

22 California

20 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

11 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 Texas (two from Houston)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio

2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION COVERAGE CONTINUES!

It's a very good week for California, which regains the lead over New York in Caption Contest 130 (P. C. Vey's snowman with waving arms) with

"It's all the witness-protection program would offer him."
Suzanne Geba (San Diego, CA)

And now two out of the three nominees in Caption Contest 132 (Michael Crawford's sword-wielding Mongol at breakfast in the 'burbs) are from the Golden State.

"We're all out of the blood of your enemies. You'll have to settle for marmalade."
Jason Beck (Los Angeles, CA)

"If you didn't want crusts, you should have said so."
Vic Comello (Franklin Park, IL)

"How many cubicles will you conquer today, hon?"
Scott Corlett (San Francisco, CA)

My loser:

"I'd be more impressed if you learned to use a butter knife."

In Anti-Caption Contest 133 (Danny Shanahan's impaled caveman art gallery), the winner is

[a Neanderthal animal rights meeting]
 "It's so wonderful that you saved that giant beast from the hunters. Soon we'll convert everyone to a healthy vegetarian life style and finally displace that other emerging human species."
MAtt

My losers

"You remind me of our comedian friend Steve, except he has an arrow through his head."

"It's a shame they don't give out Stone Age Oscars for Best Stuntwork."

"Who could ever forget your big play in the Super Hunt?"

"It looks so life-like!"

"Is that spear real?"

And Caption Contest 134 is here, while Anti-Caption Contest 134 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

21 California

20 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

11 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania
6 Virginia (three from NOVA, two from Richmond, one from Charlottesville)

5 Connecticut (two from New Haven, three not)
5 Illinois (four from Chicago—two captions by Lawrence Wood, two drawings by Leo Cullum)

4 Maryland (none named Mary)
4 Texas (two from Houston)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio

2 District of Columbia
2 Florida
2 Michigan
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

One week after repeat nominee Lynn Tudor finally won the Caption Contest, another repeat nominee surfaces: Lawrence Wood of Illinois, who is already the winner of Caption Contest 92 (Danny Shanahan dolphin looking for handouts). This time Wood offers this caption in Caption Contest 123 (bull smashes window by red curtain):

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

That's up against

"Have you thought about mauve?"
Katy Tracy (Rochester, NY)

"You should see him on Valentine's Day."
Jennifer Just (Woodbridge, CT)

Not in the competition is my submission, which I think was pretty good:

"If you think that's bad, you should see what he did in the china shop."

Winner-wise, top prize in Cartoon Contest 121 (Harry Bliss's funny-face assembly line) goes to

"Yeah, that one's funny, too. Next."
James Keegan (Milton, DE)

Yes, you saw correctly: That's a first win for Delaware, beating out two nominees from New York and keeping the Empire State from tying California in the first-place position!


The winner of Anti-Caption Contest 124 (men crawling across a desert) is

"Kejo: You are overthinking this considerably and *still* being illogical. All the crawlers know that there is no water in the direction they have come. Therefore everyone, upon suddenly coming across a wave of parched crawlers coming the opposite direction, should realize that there is also no water in the direction they are going, and try crawling in a direction that no one is crawling from. Therefore they should make a left or a right turn, although it is impossible to determine which. (Making a 180 degree turn would just send them back where they came from, dooming them to certain death.) In my caption, I hypothesize that most of the crawlers are unable to generate this optimal survival strategy, addled as they are by thirst."
Francis

To get it, I recommend you also check out the Finalists and the first Honorable Mention.

What's that you say? My losers??

"Check out that guy with the bleeping visor cap. I would call him a lucky so-and-so, but I wouldn’t want to offend anyone’s you-know-what sensibility!"

"Reading the Sunday Times just isn’t the same online."

That second one? It's funny in the way it refers to a famous...Roz Chast cartoon? (I've been having trouble finding it.)


Caption Contest 125 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 125 is here.


In other cartoon-related news, Brian Parks has rated New Yorker rating cartoons by the issue for The Village Voice. Don't expect the kind of, um, deep analysis you find here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

19 New York (17 from the Big Apple)

10 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Virginia (two from Richmond)

4 Connecticut (two from New Haven, two not)
4 Illinois (three from Chicago, one from Lake Bluff)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Delaware
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

Before moving along to this week's winners and nominees, here's a nod to Erik Gunther's thorough interview with Emily "Emdashes" Gordon over at Yahoo! Picks.

And now for the main course....

In Caption Contest 119 (Danny Shanahan's businessman in large cradle), the winner is

"If he wakes up, you can give him a Martini."
Alan Schulman (Richmond, VA)

That makes two winners in a row from Virginia, which is now in fourth place. Va-va-voom!


New York, long in second place, now seems perched to provide a real challenge to front-runner California—especially if Lynn Tudor finally enters the winner's circle. That's because the nominees in Caption Contest 121 (Harry Bliss's "funny glasses" factory) are

"This part of the job is easy—it's the whoopee-cushion testing that annoys me."
Eric Lindstrom (Ithaca, NY)

"Yeah, that one's funny, too. Next."
James Keegan (Milton, DE)

"I'm just glad we don't make lingerie."
Steven Scher (Bronx, NY)

My appallingly clumsy loser:

"If only the masses understood the hard work behind their laughter."

On reflection, I think I should've gone with

"It wasn't even funny the first time."

In Anti-Caption Contest 120 (P.C. Vey's judge doing dishes), the winner is

"As a liberal judge, I need to keep my hands soft so those slaps on the wrist don't hurt too much. That's why I use Palmolive. It's more than just mild, it softens hands while you do the dishes. Palmolive: tough on grime, but soft on crime!"
Walt

My crude loser:

"Anyone who needs to take a piss while I'm doing the dishes can use the urinal on my left."

Caption Contest 123 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 123 is here.


And the latest on the Thanksgiving cartoon contests can be found here and here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

18 New York (16 from the Big Apple)

10 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

5 Virginia (two from Richmond)

4 Connecticut (two from New Haven, two not)
4 Illinois (three from Chicago, one from Lake Bluff)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

I preface this week's results with a nod to The Other Dave, who recently posted a pumpkin carved to resemble the cover of the October 29, 2007 New Yorker!


In Caption Contest 117 (Mick Stevens circus ring in living room), the winner is

"My wife will be here any moment. She's loading herself into the cannon as we speak."
Elizabeth Ruelas (New York, NY)

So that's another victory for New York as well as NY! You can learn more about Elizabeth Ruelas here.


In Caption Contest 119 (Danny Shanahan's full-grown man in cradle), the nominees are

"Make sure you burp him after his 11 A.M. conference call."
Ellen Teitel (Hoboken, NJ)

"He sleeps through the night as long as the market's stable."
Jim McNicholas (Brooklyn, NY)

"If he wakes up, you can give him a Martini."
Alan Schulman (Richmond, VA)

My loser:

"He's always tired after Jerry Springer."

In Anti-Caption Contest 120 (Tom Cheney's Mr. Potato Head in a bar), the winner is

"Wha... Where'd the genie go? Well, if he granted my wish, I'm now a big stud. But where's your twelve-inch pianist? Oh, I see. It's in your pants."
mypalmike

A finalist was

"[Silence, because potato-head statues don't talk, and the guy at the bar is just quizzically contemplating the odd decor.]"
John Tabin

I was working on a similar concept, but I kept quiet about it. Instead, my loser was

"Your hat is out of style. Don’t you have a visor cap? That would be much more in line with what the people wear today. It would help you to blend in better."

Caption Contest 121 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 121 is here.

And the latest on the Thanksgiving cartoon contests can be found here and here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

18 New York (16 from the Big Apple)

10 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

4 Connecticut (two from New Haven, two not)
4 Illinois (three from Chicago, one from Lake Bluff)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas
3 Virginia

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone

CARTOON CAPTION/ANTI-CAPTION CONTESTS CONTINUE!

Before sharing the latest in caption/anti-caption contest winners, losers, and nominees, here's a message from Chrys Wu, who's got the enviable job title of Editorial Curator at WNYC:

The New Yorker's cartoon editor, Bob Mankoff, is looking for a few good Thanksgiving-themed New Yorker-style cartoons and I thought you and your readers might be interested in entering the contest.

Make a drawing, give it a caption, and submit it to <http://www.flickr.com/groups/cartooncontest/> on
flickr. Mankoff will choose his favorites and discuss
them on "The Leonard Lopate Show" on WNYC on the day
before Thanksgiving, Wednesday, Nov. 21.

Submission deadline is Nov. 14 at noon.

For more information, please see:
<http://www.wnyc.org/shows/lopate/episodes/2007/11/21>

And, of course, Dan Radosh has started his own anti-contest for the worst Thanksgiving cartoon possible.


So. The big contest news is that New Jersey has broken its dry spell to become the third double-digit state in the Cartoon Caption Contest, thanks to Caption Contest 116 (Gahan Wilson's alien cartoonists):

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"
Eva Liane Foster (Princeton, NJ)

That's the first New Jersey winner since Caption Contest 88, and the first from Princeton!

The nominees in Caption Contest 118 (Paul Noth's angels on eggs) are

"Why did you think angels had wings?"
Sonya Erickson (Denver, CO)

"It's not the tedium. It's the uncertainty."
Hope Witte (Chevy Chase, MD)

"I always figured Hell would be less ironic."
Ben Snyder (Charlottesville, VA)

My loser:

"When I feel blue, I simply remind myself that it's much worse for the penguins."

And in Anti-Caption Contest 119 (Danny Shanahan's man in crib), the winner is

There once was a man like an infant?He was a real jerk and skinflint?I put him in bed, oh bed bed bed bed,?bed bed bed bed bed bed infant.
jdt

My loser:

"I can't believe that, after the horrible things this man did to me and our children, and the millions of lives he destroyed in every corner of the planet, he can still, somehow, sleep like a baby. But now he must die!"

Caption Contest 120 is here. Anti-Caption Contest 120 is here.


THE STANDINGS

Here is the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest breakdown by state. You can find it all mapped out here.

20 California

17 New York (15 from the Big Apple)

10 New Jersey

6 Massachusetts
6 Pennsylvania

4 Connecticut (two from New Haven, two not)
4 Illinois (three from Chicago, one from Lake Bluff)
4 Maryland (none named Mary)

3 Georgia (includes two-time winner Carl Gables)
3 Minnesota (Minneapolis 2, St. Paul 1)
3 North Carolina
3 Ohio
3 Texas
3 Virginia

2 District of Columbia
2 Mississippi
2 Missouri
2 New Hampshire
2 Oregon (both named Eric, both from Portland)
2 Rhode Island
2 Utah
2 Vermont

1 Alabama
1 Alaska
1 Arizona
1 Florida
1 Iowa
1 Kentucky
1 Michigan
1 Nevada
1 New Mexico
1 Oklahoma
1 Washington

Map Introduction

Thanks to Andriy Bidochko for Map Builder.

Image by David Marc Fischer using Samsung cameraphone